Upward Creativity

Church Music Fail

2012-01-24T16:08:00.000-05:00

He says this has made him famous..... what he doesn't understand is that he's famous for all the wrong reasons. Sadly, this is not the worst church singer I've ever heard. Even Jesus is shaking his head and giving him a "bless your heart"

(thanks Chris Cahall for the heads up)

Ouch!

2012-01-12T18:14:00.000-05:00

For reasons I cannot explain, every year, January kinda sucks for me. I get all fired up for the start of a new year, get my list of things I want to change, and BOOM! By January 10th, I'm wishing I had a time travel device so I could go back to a more hopeful, simpler time before all the New Year's crappola began.

2012 has been no exception to my New Year's Curse. The year started off with my mom breaking her hip at my house while I was away in Atlanta. Then all kinds of ministry changes and movement without a lot of explanation, and then my car breaks down- all of this before January 8th! So I'm sitting around my house this week feeling pretty blue and fearful of what else is gonna happen, and the Holy Spirit brings me a vision of soil in a field that has been freshly tilled. Now, I don't know a lot about farming........ actually, I don't really know anything about farming! However, I do remember how farms looked in Indiana (where I once lived) right before they were getting ready to plant things. They were muddy, overgrown with weeds, and just plain inhabitable. Every year, they would have to be tilled before farmers cold grow anything. Being that I'm not a farmer, I found it interesting that God would bring me such an image but the more I think about the more it makes sense.

Maybe January is the time of year when God has to prep me so he can plant things and they can take root. Why? Heck, I don't know!

He digs deep to remove all the hurts and baggage of the year before so he can cultivate something new. It feels painful and makes me feel dry and barren but it's really good for me in the end.

So, today I feel hopeful and welcoming of this time refurbishment. I look barren on the outside but it's just because I'm waiting for God to plant something new in me!

So I encourage you not to run away from God in those times when you feel turned inside-out, but run to Him and be encouraged that he won't abandon you. Trust him that he always has a plan to bring blessings and good things to your life!

"If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there;
if you're kicked in the gut, he'll help you catch your breath."

Psalm 34:18 MSG

I'm Sorry, Did I Offend You?

2011-11-10T23:39:00.000-05:00

Very recently I made the choice to start a blog (which you are reading!) I didn't know if anyone would ever read it, but it sounded like a fun way to pass the time. Shortly after I started, I began my 'Marketing Fails of the Day' which are geared to improve the quality and relevancy of Church media. The blog's popularity began to rise rapidly as did my understanding of humanity. I have been blessed to receive a lot of feedback over these pieces, some good, some bad, and some very, very ugly. This last week as I was being chastised for my colorful, yet generationally appropriate language, I began to wonder.....

Why are we (Christians) so very sensitive? I mean seemingly so much more sensitive than the rest of the world?
I'm not going to pretend like I know the answer to that, but here are a few things that I have observed:

1. We are offended too easily. I say 'we' because I am just as guilty of this as the next person. So often if someone is critical of something that we like, we think they are being critical of us. That is not always the case. If someone says something adverse to our own thoughts and beliefs, does it really solve anything to immediately move to the offensive? I'm going to say, no.

2. We are offended by the wrong things. Matthew Paul Turner recently wrote an open letter to John Piper on his blog and the response was enormous from all sides. There were people applauding Matt for calling Piper out and then there were many people who were just irrationally upset by the fact he was calling out a pastor on his blog. Many of them questioned his faith in Christ and even told him to go to Hell. Matt really summed it up when he later said, "I've been able to make more jokes about "Jesus" (or people's idea of "Jesus") than I was about John Piper." We care so much about the wrong things.

3. We react immaturely when we are offended. When someone offends you, what is the first thing you do? Do you immediately shut them out? Do you yell and argue? Do you feel sorry for them because they are so wrong and you are so right? Do you smile politely while thinking about setting them on fire? Don't lie, all of us can say we're guilty of at least one, if not more, of these things.

Let's think about the Bible here for a moment: Think about when Jesus was here. Did He get offended every time someone ruffled his feathers? No, he didn't. You know who was constantly offended? The Pharisees.(just sayin') Jesus chose to spend most of His time loving on the people that offended so many others. He spent His time focusing on the Kingdom, and that was all He did. Now Jesus did get pretty pissed off once. I'm sure you recall the story when He went to the temple and people had basically turned it into a marketplace, instead of a place to worship. That's the only time to my knowledge that Jesus seemed truly appalled by something. He was more upset about that, then when people were nailing Him to the Cross. Once again, just sayin'.

All of us come from different backgrounds, we're raised in different places, and we have different ideas about what is acceptable and what is not. However, the only standard we should be holding each other by is Christ's standard, and even then, we should tread carefully, because reality is 90% perception. As one of my Tweeps, @jeffholton said to me, "I consider myself a conservative, basically. But I don't pretend that conservatism speaks for the Church." Jeff realizes something very important; the Church is diverse and it's diverse for a reason. Your view only represent a small percent of the overall body. Furthermore, all views, black, white, and gray are equally important to furthering the Kingdom of God on Earth, and therefore, we should seek to understand and support them all.

So what can we learn? Next time you feel offended:

1. Breath. Take a deep breath and make sure you swallow your pride with it.
2. Ask yourself "Is this something Jesus would be offended about or is this just me?"
3. Where is this person coming from? Where is their heart in saying this?
4. Don't judge. I'm sure you've offended that person too
5. Talk. Find out what you can learn from someone else's perspective

Let's all just take one big chill pill and learn to enjoy the diversity in our Christian culture. After all, a Kingdom divided is no Kingdom at all.

Emily's long overdue, all-inclusive list of church resources (mostly FREE!)

2011-11-09T08:08:00.000-05:00

I am forever getting emails asking me for my resources on art and media. Mostly it's churches and people I know that work for churches. After a couple of years of doing this, I thought to myself "Duh, do a post about".
So, here it is. Emily's long overdue, all-inclusive list of resources. I created/recycled a TON of media over the years and 80% of it started with these amazing sites.

Enjoy and don't forget to share your favorite resources below :)

Graphics and Media Resources:
Creativemyk.com Which has moved to Creation Swap
      - a great place for free graphics in .psd format.

Elevation Church
      - a great place for series packages. Everything you need (trailers, video, graphics) for a single series

Life Church
      - this one you probably already know about!

Stuff I can Use- via Southeast Christian
     - more series packages

The Church Box via Four Corners Church
     - more series packages

Seacoast All Access
       - Offers free sermon series resources that include sermon graphics, motion graphics, audio, video, message notes, and small group questions created by Seacoast Church (Mt. Pleasant, SC).

Worship House
- Most of you probably know this one. It's all paid media but most of it is totally worth it!

Stage Design:
Church Stage Design Ideas
         - This is a great site full of real designs from other churches and useful information you can use to pull off your own killer design.

Photoshop Resources:
Brusheezy
Offers free Photoshop brushes.
Flasheezy
Offers free Flash elements.
Vecteezy
Offers free vector graphics.

General Church Resources:
Nside Admin
     - Offers free administrative documents from North Point Community Church (Alpharetta, GA) on church government, human resources, accounting, facilities, IT, and Web.

Elexio Websites
     - the best simple, cost effective solution I've found for mid sized churches. Clover is nice too, but I personally prefer Elexio :)

Wix
    - Need a great website for nothing? Wix is a great solution. You can get a free site or you can do some very low cost upgrades and still end up with a great basic site.

Planning Center
    - seriously if you don't use planning center you are missing out! It's AMAZING!

Sites I look at to be up-to-date and get inspired:
Collide Magazine
     - they used to be a print mag but now they are only online and they do conferences
Inside Northpoint
     - Northpoint's Media
Central Christian's You Tube Channel
    - I love CCC! Their videos are so funny and well made. I've remade many of them.
Jesus Needs New PR
   - Matthew Paul Turner's blog. He offends some, but I love it! He reminds me to think outside the   Christian bubble :)
Church Marketing Sucks
    - everything you need to know about how to/ how to NOT market your church

Adventures in Obedience

2011-10-26T16:36:00.000-04:00

This month marks my 10 year anniversary of becoming a follower of Christ. You'd think that after you've been doing something for 10 years, you'd be really good at it, but it never ceases to amaze me how God continues to challenge me and take me deeper all the time. I've accepted the fact that I'll never really be 'good' at being a Christian but I'll always be pursuing God's best in my life, fully knowing that I can't reach that goal in my time on Earth.

Recently, our church did a series called "How to Be Rich". It was an amazing series and I encourage you to listen to the messages here. However, there was one week that really stood out for my husband and myself. It was the week when we talked about tithing. It's funny, because I rarely get to listen to our messages live because of my position at the church, but I actually caught this one.

I've always been a giver. I am in ministry so I feel like I give everything I have; my whole life really, and of course, I toss some $ in the baskets like everyone else. In the last 10 years I've heard many, many messages on money; some good and some bad, but this one was different. I'm no theologian, so I can retell it the way Pastor Tim said it, but basically he talked about Biblical obedience in tithing- meaning giving 10%, off the top and directly to the church. He outlined many great facts backing this up, but they allude me now :)

While listening I thought about all the giving I do. I give my time, energy, resources, I give money to missions, people in need, etc. but it was here that God stopped me and caused me to listen. I had to ask myself; how much do I actually tithe? The truth is I have no idea! I felt God challenge me with being intentionally obedient to His Word and always give 10% directly to the church and let everything else I give be out of the other 90%.

This is where the internal argument began. I said "Well, God, Chris and I give you everything, don't we? We give here, and here, and here, and......" And God said this "I know you trust me with 100% of your lives but do you trust me with 100% of your money- be obedient to my Word"

Well.... there's really no arguing with that statement. God's Word is it and God made it impossible for us to gloss over that part any longer. So my husband and I talked and we decided to say ok. So we immediately started being intentional with our giving and really making sure that we gave 10% to the church before anything else. This was hard for us because we are very poor right now. My husband has been out of work and I've been struggling with finding consistent business AND we didn't curb our giving from the missions and things we already gave to- we just started taking that out of the 90% God let us keep.

So how is it going? Are we broke yet? Well......

It's been two weeks since we started this experiment and God has worked some amazing miracles:

1. My husband who's been out of work since August was offered a great job
2. My income from my own business (I do photography and creative services) has increased 450%
3. We somehow have managed to catch up on nearly every bill we have
4. Our stress level has gone from 100 to -50 because we are no longer fighting about money
5. Our faith has increased and we want to give more than ever before!

I'm not going to say that things work this quickly for everyone, but this is our experience. God has always taken care of us, but when we are intentionally obedient to His Word, his blessings grow even more.

At the end of the message, Pastor Tim challenged everyone to a 3 month tithe challenge. Basically, tithe 10% intentionally for 3 months and see what God does. I encourage anyone that reads this to watch that message and take the challenge- you won't be sorry! God never fails.

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:21 ESV

Go ahead and jump

2011-10-06T16:45:00.000-04:00

It's no secret that I love photography. Ever since I first stepped into a dark room in high school I have been in love with the entire art form. (yes as in a real dark room where we developed real film- gosh I'm getting old!)

I always dreamt of doing something more with my passion but it never felt like the right time until now. You see I never found my niche in photography until I had kids. It's having kids and photographing them throughout the years that made me realize where my real passion lies. Capturing families and children has become something that I truly love to do, so I've decided to take the leap and begin my own photography business. I've decided to call it Upward Photography (yes totally jacking the name of this blog) and I will focus on providing creative, modern and affordable family and lifestyle photography.

If you know me personally, this is not a shock. I have been bouncing this around for years and if you have kids I've probably taken pictures of them but it wasn't until recently that I finally had the confidence to make the leap. I have no clue where this will lead me but I know it's what I need to be doing.

So be on the lookout in the next week as I launch my website, FB page, and start marketing, and by all means, help me spread the word!

Take It All

2011-10-06T09:19:00.001-04:00

Well these last few months have been crazy to say the least. Year after year I'm learning that the only thing I can depend on is God and as soon as I begin to depend on anything else, He has no problem turning my world on end to remind me of that.

Yes, life has been very hard over the last few months but this blog isn't to drone on about what's been going wrong- it's to celebrate what has come out of it all. Years ago I was listening to someone read a little devotional book. To this day I don't remember which one but I do remember what he said.
He was talking about how grape vines work. He said any good vine can produce fruit but for it to produce fruit abundantly, you first have to prune the branch down. If you cut off a fruit producing branch, several more will grow in its place.

Lately God has been cutting away my branches. At first I was highly offended by this, thinking to myself "I spend all this dang time doing this stuff; the stuff you told me to do, and now you want to take it away? What the frack?" However, when I think of this story I'm reminded that it's all only temporary and none of it was mine to begin with. God is only taking this stuff away because I've done a good job and He wants me grow more, do more, and become more of what He knows I can be. So when I change my thinking; God no longer has to pull things from my hands. Instead, I offer them up trusting that God is going to continue to bless me and grow me, even when I cannot see it on the horizon.

Today life is still hard. Everyday I'm faced with decisions that I don't know how to make, mountains that I cannot hope to climb, and a restless heart over what is coming, but I keep on. Not for me, but for the glory of God.

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

- Galatians 6:9 ESV

Got me feeling so fly like Jesus

2011-09-13T15:47:00.000-04:00

Bwahahahaha- I think this spoof is hilarious! If you've never heard "Like a G6" this might not make as much sense to you, but if you have, you'll like it too- promise :)

Stop the Bleeding.......

2011-09-09T23:04:00.000-04:00

"We’re called to hold our hands against the wounds of a broken world to stop the bleeding" ~ Don Miller

This last week was a hard one. My daughter's best friend lost her mother to suicide- the daughter is only 6. I've been spending the better part of this last week helping her and her dad sort through some of the grief and questions that come with such a tragic loss.

How do you make sense of such a senseless tragedy?
When you're in ministry you have to deal with grief and loss more often but for me, frequency doesn't make it easier. Especially when its this kind of situation. When I heard the news my mind immediately went to the last time I saw her which was a couple of months ago. We were sitting on the couch in her living room and we talked about our girls and then she talked to me about the divorce she was going through. She didn't seem depressed or really upset in any way. She even seemed like she was ready for the divorce to be final so everyone could move forward. So as I'm replaying our last conversation, I search for what I could have said or done differently. I wonder if I'd just done something differently if things would have ended better.

I went through a similar thought process a little over a year ago when my brother-in-law took his own life leaving my beautiful niece and nephew to pick up the pieces. Even though he and my sister divorced he'd been in my life since I was 14 and I loved him so much. I remember talking to my niece shortly after. The brokeness in her voice crushed my heart, but I knew the pain I was feeling was a mere fraction of what she was dealing with.

I think everyone who knows someone who commits suicide goes through this mental run down of the "what if's". We all wonder if we were the reason or if we could have somehow saved that person.

In my line of work it feels like a failure even when you barely knew the person.

It was in that guilt-ridden moment that I realized how real the battle is that is being waged for us. God loves us and pursues us but there is also an enemy who fights to hurt and even destroy us. And the first place he works is in our minds; beneath the surface. We are children of God and our value is beyond measure so if the enemy can convince us that we are worthless than he has won.

It left me thinking about what someone must be feeling and thinking when they are to a place where death seems like the best option. What a place of hopeless despair that must be. How dark and lonely is it there? I think nothing grieves the heart of God more than seeing a beloved child in this place.

I've heard some people call people who commit suicide selfish or saying that "they took the easy way out" but I would disagree. If you talk to people who've attempted suicide they will tell you that they felt like a worthless burden and their friends and family would be better off. Of course, that is never the reality but the enemy has spent so much time feeding these lies to them that they are convinced this is true.

Yeah suicide is bad- blah, blah, blah. So what's my point? My point is simple: love people. Love all people- even the unlovable, emotionally draining ones. You never know what is going on beneath the surface. You never know when your small act of random kindness will save someone's life. When we love people with God's love it brings truth and light to them. The lies of the enemy can't win over the truth of God. So often we associate suicide with troubled teens but it is an increasingly popular cause of death in people ages 18-35. It's too late for my friend and my brother but there could be someone in your life now that still has a chance.

For more info on prevention or to support the efforts of To Write Love On Her Arms click here

Googling through life

2011-07-29T17:15:00.002-04:00

Back in the olden days of the internet- ya know like around 1999ish, I used search engines for school and typically to look up encyclopedia-type stuff. I used to log on to Dogpile (10 points if you remember that site) and type in president names so I could write some lame report and that was pretty much the extent of my search engine usage.

However, I find myself now typing everything in to Google. I have this handy little tool bar and it's like it beckons me: "ask me anything. I will give you the answer". Like most people I freely will ask Google about anything from my kids fevers to what tv I should buy, but today I was wondering if we take things to far? And by "we", I mean "me".

I was joking around about this with a friend of mine and she said "yeah, I use it for everything. I even typed in "should I have a fourth child" on it once." At first, I thought she was kidding, but she wasn't. She really went to Google to seek advice on weather or not she should have 3 kids or 4!? It made me realize that I have the same weakness. In the last year I have search "where to go on vacation", "best 55in LED TV", "how to make your kids eat", and countless others that I can't remember now. I figured out I probably Google things about 20 times a day- heck most of the things I know how to do, I learned how to do by googling them.

It makes me wonder how many choices I've made based on the information Google has given me. It's very SkyNet :P

I feel a little ashamed of my Google habit but I know I'm not the only one. So I wonder what would happen if Google went away. How would we find information? The library maybe? I dunno just a silly observation :)

Adventures in Kid's Ministry!

2011-07-23T14:17:00.000-04:00

If someone had told me a year ago that I'd be responsible for running a children's ministry I probably would've laughed and not given a second thought. Yet, here I am working at an awesome church doing just that.

For those of you who know me personally, this probably came as an odd pairing. Of course, I love kids but I've never thought of myself as being one of those "Ms. Lippy" (ya know from Billy Madison) types who could handle masses of children with ease. So I stuck to the areas I knew; music, production, media, etc.

However, the opportunity came along to do this and against all reason, I felt that God definitely wanted me to do it so I did, and I'm so glad I did.

Here's what I've learned (so far):

1. You can learn more about God and faith in an hour with children than you ever will in an hour with most pastors I know. Kids have this inherent honesty when it comes to God. They will ask you anything because they have no shame. All the questions we are afraid to ask a 9 year old will ask without even thinking twice. The way children receive the Gospel is so different and so inspiring. It really makes you understand why Jesus said "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." Matt. 19:14. If we could all be as free and honest with our faith as these kids are our world would be completely different.

2. Children's workers are the most under appreciated and selfless people you are likely to meet in a church. I am an organizer/overseer for the ministry, so I don't get to do as much of the hands on stuff on a weekly basis. The real credit goes to the teachers and workers who selflessly devote their time and attention to our kids. Years ago kid's church was more like daycare but nowadays there is a lot more pressure on the average volunteer. These people are working throughout the week preparing lessons and getting supplies. They sacrifice the opportunity to be in the "grown-up" service so that our kids can learn about God, and in the craziness of a Sunday morning they are rarely thanked. We have some of the most selfless workers I've seen at Bridgepoint and I thank God for them everyday!

3. God enjoys making us uncomfortable. He doesn't enjoy it in a malicious way; He enjoys it because it forces us to grow and get closer to Him in our walk. God put me a place where I couldn't really rely on myself, my experiences, or my natural abilities. All I had to rely on was that He wanted me there and that had to be enough. Now I'm not the best at what I do but God is making it all work, because let's face it, He's really in charge anyway. So my skill doesn't matter as much as my obedience. He has all the knowledge and skill any of us could need need, so as uncomfortable as it feels to lose control; there's a peace and a victory that we receive in this place of dependence.

I have a sign hanging in my house. My husband hates it because he claims it looks "old lady" but I don't care because I love what it says:

"God never asks about our ability or our inability but about our availability"

I've had that sign for years but I think it's message finally sank in. God doesn't care about what I can do or what I can't do. He could care less how many years I've been in Ministry or how many people I've led to Christ. He cares about the posture of my heart. He cares about having full access to everything he created me to be, even the things He put in there that I don't know exist. He doesn't want to hear a list of my credentials when he asks me to do something. He just wants to hear

"Here am I. Send me!" 

Isaiah 6:8

Jesus Receipt?

2011-07-23T12:41:00.000-04:00

I think Jesus is the only person who smiles in the Walmart Checkout.

This is from a real newstory. People in some podunk place in the Bible Belt were freaking out. Read it here

A Road Less Traveled

2011-06-27T08:15:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about my walk with God. You see I always thought that it would get easier as I grew in my relationship with God, but here I am more than 10 years in and I'm realizing that might never be the case.

Now don't get me wrong, I love my life with God, but it's not always easy. Sure coming to Jesus and getting 'saved' was pretty easy and it was designed to be, but the journey, while full of immeasurable treasures, is not so simple. The older I get the more convinced I become that the journey isn't supposed to be easy, especially if you're in ministry.

You see God's main goal for us as our Father in Heaven isn't that we are comfortable or happy; it's that we are mature and strong and lead full, meaningful lives. Yes, there are moments of comfort and happiness but the real joy usually comes on the other side of discomfort.

Last night I read the verse below. Many of you would recognize it in the NIV version as the 'narrow gate' verse but when I read it in the Message paraphrase it really added a level for me:
13 "Don't look for shortcuts to God. The market is flooded with surefire, easygoing formulas for a successful life that can be practiced in your spare time. Don't fall for that stuff, even though crowds of people do.14 The way to life-to God!-is vigorous and requires total attention. Matthew 7:13& 14

Everywhere you look in the world there's some formula for fulfillment or some god that promises to make you happy. We eagerly latch on to these counterfeits as a society because we are thirsty for a happiness that can only be found in the pain of the Cross and the pursuit of a God-driven life.

Once we profess Jesus with our lips God doesn't call us to sit on our butts and stare at the sky; He calls us to proclaim Jesus to the world and to let our hearts become deeply rooted in His love and truth. That, my friends, is a lifetime path to fulfillment and joy beyond measure.

It may not be the easiest path, but I can't imagine going any other way.

My challenge to you this week is don't look for the easy, comfortable path; look for the rocky, winding, scary looking road and take it fearlessly. As a friend of mine said a few weeks ago- "do hard things."

Scientologists Stand Tall- LOL!

2011-06-21T19:11:00.000-04:00

I always thought us Christians had the monopoly on cheesy 80's music videos promoting our faith but apparently I was wrong!

JUMP! VBS 2011 Part 1!

2011-06-21T18:32:00.000-04:00

Sorry I haven't posted in several days! Here's what's been keeping me busy :)

More to come!

Win!

2011-06-15T10:44:00.001-04:00

Normally I call these fails but a "Ninja-Messiah throwing nails of death" is PURE WIN!

Saw this on Jesus Needs New PR

This is the air I breathe......

2011-06-13T21:15:00.000-04:00

This weekend I was very blessed to be invited to a worship conference in Lakeland. At the conference I got to hear John and Marie Barnett. For those of you who don't know they are the people who brought us the song "Breathe" which is one of the best worship songs ever.

Anyhow, while I sang along to Breathe with Marie (who has a crazy awesome voice!) it took me back some years. You see Breathe was the first song I ever really led. In many ways it was a catalyst that got me where I am. I was taken back to that night almost 10 years ago. I was on stage with my guitar that I'd only been playing for a few months, scared to death, and feeling like I was flunking out with dozens of eyes staring at me. Then the keys came in, I shut my eyes, and suddenly 'I' didn't matter anymore.

"This is the air I breathe. This is the air I breathe" I began to sing timidly. I remember hearing my voice in the monitor and it's like it wasn't even the same voice I'd always sang with. It was something powerful, because God had moved. I was taken out and somehow God was put in. To this day I can't fully explain the situation. Some might say it was just the rush of being on stage and such but I know it was so much more than that. It was in that moment I knew that worship would be a huge part of my life. God deposited something in my heart that day and I'm still discovering parts of it all the time.

So, what's the point of my story? Well, hearing Marie sing that song made me remember the very first moment I entered in to true worship and it made me hungry for more. It made me want to feel like that 18 year old girl who knew nothing about, well, anything. I only knew that I wanted Jesus.

Do you remember that moment? Sit and ask God to take you back there this week.

Marketing Fail?

2011-06-02T21:07:00.000-04:00

Somehow I think more people are going to read the billboard that has the word "Boobie" on it....... Either way I find the Bible-belted brand of piping hot guilt served up KJV style to be pretty funny!

Marketing Fail of the Day

2011-05-31T11:55:00.000-04:00

(This is in my purse right next to my Miracle Healing Water)

LOL

2011-05-31T11:23:00.002-04:00

I posted part 2 of a three part ADD series months ago and totally never finished part three....... now that's some ADD!

The Devil's in the Phone Booth..... wait is that Betty White?

2011-05-31T11:12:00.000-04:00

Betty White and crew singing about the devil being in the phone booth.... perhaps this is why phone booths are now scarce?

Marketing Fail of The Day

2011-05-31T11:09:00.000-04:00

Is it me or does he look like Neo from the matrix's dad? You'd better come to the chapel or he will beat you down and drag your a** in there!

Marketing Fail of The Day

2011-05-30T11:54:00.000-04:00

The fact of the matter is that I kinda wanna kick these people in the head....... in love of course 8-)

Attention Deficit Disaster? Part 2- The Edison Trait

2011-03-09T13:00:00.001-05:00

Did you know that by age six Thomas Edison managed to burn down the family barn? During his early years, he suffered illness and hearing loss, but even so he was a talkative child who used to annoy adults with his constant questions. Despite his high I.Q., one teacher called him "addled," which meant "confused or stupid." He attended three different schools between the ages of seven to nine, and none of his teachers had the patience to deal with his apparent inability to sit still, his lack of focus on the matter at hand, and his talkativeness. After his mother was told he was "unteachable" she decided to home school him. She let him learn freely and even set up experiments in the basement. Her husband thought he was dull but she believed he was special and continued teaching him. Throughout his teens he landed and lost many jobs, but he was inventing the whole time. As a railroad signalman he had to clock in every hour by telegraph. He invented a way to transmit his hourly signal automatically, and was fired when he got caught. The invention, however, eventually led him to develop the first automatic telegraph and the first stock ticker. He was a truly divergent thinker. Edison wasn't just an inventor; he was an entrepreneur, a shrewd businessman and a boss who easily motivated his employees. Additionally, he was a very hard worker. He said his success was 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. By the end of his career, Edison had received 1,093 patents and was credited for inventing the electric light bulb, the central power generating station, the phonograph, the flexible celluloid film and movie projector, and alkaline storage battery, and the microphone.

Thomas Edison also had ADHD and I wonder what would have happened to him if he'd lived today? What if instead of adjusting his education to his learning style, his mother had just popped some pills in his mouth and forced him to conform to what was acceptable? Would he have ever invented the light bulb? Would we have batteries? Really who can say, but it really makes me think that what we call a disorder really isn't.

Yeah, Edison was different but he needed to be. He needed a high level of creative thinking to invent these things that, at the time, were insane concepts. He didn't confine his mind to the norm and that's what made him great. He was allowed to be a raw, natural version of himself.

I'm definitely no Thomas Edison but I can identify with his story. As I've grown up, I've embraced the way my brain works. Yeah, I may never fit into the conventional world, but maybe I'm not meant to. There is a definite link between ADD/ADHD and creativity. People like Robert Frost, Da Vinci, Frank Lloyd Wright, Hemingway, and even Issac Newton all displayed symptoms. Many people with this "disorder" are seen as being dull but really they tend to be creative geniuses because their brains work in ways that others' don't.

What's my point? My point is that maybe instead of jumping straight to behavior modification and pills, we consider that maybe it's not a real problem. Maybe, just maybe, that person's brain operates differently because it is supposed to. Instead of bending them to fit into the norm we bend our own thinking.

If you're a parent to a child who is different in any way, you know that can be a challenge, because kids can't mask their symptoms like adults can.

I'll address the parenting stuff on the next piece :)

Attention Deficit Disaster?

2011-03-08T22:49:00.000-05:00

You know how it is: You're in a meeting or having coffee with a friends and you start talking about one thing and before you know it your conversation ends up in another world completely and you have no idea how. Then you laugh and say "Wait what were talking about? We are so ADD!" My friends and I joke about this all the time. The only kicker is that I actually do have ADD.

Most of my friends don't know that about me. When I say it they assume it's a joke, because I don't really match up to what people think ADD looks like. Most people think of hyper, sugared-up children who can't sit still, but the truth is that most people with ADD/ADHD don't look like that at all. As a matter of fact I would argue that it's not really a disorder at all. Most of the truly troubled children who exhibit ADD/ADHD are actually suffering from other behavioral disorders and/or learning challenges.

Over my next few posts (provided I can hone my attention in long enough) I'm going to share my story and knowledge, so hopefully people who are like me can understand their unique value and people who are different can understand what is actually happening in the minds of those who get lumped into this "disorder"

First, a little back story: Not to toot my own horn but I was a very smart child. I always tested high and I could learn things much more quickly and easily than my classmates. So much so that I would get bored in class and drift off into daydream land. I frequently got accused of not paying attention and I often got distracted so I rarely completed my very dull homework. Around 3rd grade my grades plummeted and my teacher labeled me as a "problem". My mom knew that something wasn't adding up. I didn't have a behavior problem. I was just spacing out and I couldn't stay on task. In spite of that I had amazing test scores and a high I.Q. Long story short, after watching an episode of Oprah about ADD my mom had me tested over the course of the next year (it takes a minimum of 6 months for a proper diagnosis BTW) and sure enough I had ADD. Back then ADD and ADHD were separate- now they are lumped together.

My dear parents did everything they could. I was on Ritalin, in therapy, and I had a private tutor. My grades immediately rebounded and I never turned in homework late. Everyone was thrilled, except for me. I am very grateful to have had parents that cared about me enough to do all of that, but honestly as I look back, I don't know that it was needed.

I stopped taking my meds in 7th grade and once again I had trouble in school. I was still smart but most of the time I felt stupid. You see all of the meds and therapy didn't change me, it just made me tolerable for the public school system. When I returned to my natural state, I no longer fit the mold of what was acceptable. This made me feel unacceptable and led to more problems in school eventually causing me to leave it.

Let me explain a little bit about ADD/ADHD. Most people think its leading symptom is an inability to stay focused, but that's only a half truth. People with ADD can be extremely focused, but it takes more to peak our interest. We lack the ability to focus on things our minds find dull- such as a lecture. However, when the focus switch is turned on in our brains we become hyper-focused and it is nearly impossible to get our attention. Like when I would daydream in class and my teacher would have to call my name 10 times before I would hear her- I was hyper-focused on what entertained my brain, and her lecture just wasn't it. The way most medications work is that they stimulate the brain so we can focus on duller things.

Another thing people associate with us is hyperactivity, but this is not usually the case- especially with girls. Often times with girls they simple talk a lot or they daydream more than the boys. Boys do tend to cause a bit more trouble but not always. Boy with defiant behavior disorders are often misdiagnosed as having ADD.

So getting back on "task", what does all this mean? I hope to explore that in the days to come. I believe that having this so-called "disorder" is what makes me great. Without it I wouldn't be who I am and I am exactly how God intended me to be- It's not a flaw, it's a feature..............

More to come in part 2

Please feel free to share your story :)

Love Never Fails

2011-02-22T17:41:00.000-05:00

"Love Never Fails"- I love that phrase. I love saying it. I love singing it. Most of all I love the implications of it. For those who don't know the phrase originates from 1 Corinthians 13- also known as the love chapter. The most well know portion is in verses 4-8:
⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ⁸ Love never fails.

You've probably heard parts of it read at weddings or etched on to photo frames. Most people associate it with the way love should look in a marriage. All of that is well and good but it goes way beyond that.
If you read the rest of the Chapter it relates the love concept to life and ministry, but I would say it's even bigger than that. When I think about Jesus I think about this chapter of the Bible almost more than any other.

Recently I reached a time in my life when I had to deal with people and situations that were very frustrating and God really used them to challenge my ability to love, not in my own way but in a supernatural way. One day I was praying and I realized- Well, God is love and love is patient, kind, not proud or self-seeking, doesn't keep track of screw ups, always protects, trusts, hope, persevere, and never fails. So if I'm supposed to follow God and be Christ-like then shouldn't I be all those things? Now for some of my more advanced friends this may seem like a "duh" moment but I really have never gotten this in the complete way the Lord presented it to me this year.

Where I especially failed was trust. It's hard to believe the best from the difficult people in life but I believe that Jesus never gives up on anybody so neither should we. Jesus loved and trusted people that he knew would betray him. He didn't do it with a "keep you enemies close" mentality but an "I love you and I'll keep loving you no matter what" mentality. For me that is quite a big lead to follow and it continuously challenges me.

How about you? Where is your love challenge?

The Perfect Mom....

2011-02-16T14:14:00.000-05:00

I've wanted kids for as long as I can remember. Most of my friends went through a phase in their teens or twenties when they were totally turned off to the idea of having kids, but I never did. Even as a teen I fantasized about being a mom. So, it's no surprise to me that I'm 28 and already have two kids.

My first was Elise (2/25/05). I was so excited to become a first-time mom, but as much as I love my daughter I found motherhood to be a difficult venture for a girl in her early 20's.
It was an isolating experience which I didn't expect. Soon after, and very unexpectadly, I was preggers with Ariana (3/28/07). My life-plan of having all my kids before I hit thirty was nearly complete! However, I neglected to recognize the flaw in my plan: middle-class, urban-type moms in their 20's are few and far between- especially in Indiana where I lived at the time.

I felt very torn as I adjusted to life with two kids. I wanted to be a good mom and do all the mommy stuff (playdates, soccer, mommy and me classes, etc), but I wanted to still be...well.... 'me'. For those of you who don't know me personally, I would describe myself as quirky, creative, outspoken, and maybe a tiny bit eccentric :) Suddenly I had entered a world where people drove mini-vans, wore khakis, and had few interests outside their kids. I don't think there's anything wrong with those things, but that's definitely not me and the more I tried to fit in with my mommy counter-parts the more lost and unhappy I felt. I really didn't know any moms like me. Most moms I met lived in the suburbs, were in their thirties, liked to wear tracksuits, and quite frankly they annoyed the crap out of me. Example: Have you seen the pediasure commercial where the kids are playing soccer and the one mom says something like "Does jimmy (or whatever the name was) look a little run down to you?" and the other mom says in an all-knowing tone "Well, kids are what they eat". Every time I see that commercial I want to slap that mom. She's so snobby and judgemental. If someone said that to me in real life I might punch them in the face!

Anyhow- that's an example of the moms I kept meeting, and I definitely couldn't hang with them.

So, what's a girl to do? At first I decided to just be alone, but that's really not the answer. God calls us to be in community with each other and I feel this is especially important for parents. For me, the answer was just accepting who I am and be happy with how God created me. You may not feel like you fit in with people but realizing that almost everyone feels that way from time-to-time really helps. We are all different, and yes, some of us are different in louder, more obvious ways. It's all in how you work it.

So you're young, like skinny jeans, scene haircuts, and prefer Urban Outfitters over the Gap? You can be all that and still be a good mom. Luckily America's vision of the perfect family is changing. It's our generation of moms that will redefine mommyhood. Regardless of what we think, there's no one right way to be a mom. There will always be those moms who think otherwise and aren't afraid to vocalize it, but I say- screw 'em. For each one of those moms there 10 moms who will love you for you. God made me and he made my kids and we are a perfect match. They are just as weird and quirky as their mom ;-P

How about you? Do you think you've been able to find the balance between "me" and "mommy"?

Need Jammies?

2011-02-15T09:09:00.000-05:00

OMG. Protect your children and get them beat up all in one shot!

Humanity at my door

2011-02-14T15:07:00.001-05:00

Today I heard a knock at my front door. I opened it to find this guy who was pretty rough. He was older, didn't speak well, and looked like he hadn't seen a shower in a while. He proceeded to tell me that he has mental problems and he has no money, etc. In my usual business I just kind of stared at him with my "OK, get to the point" face (I was pretty sure he was going to ask me for money). He then said "I don't want any money, but can you feed me something?"
My heart just sank and I nearly started to crying, because I realized that even though I'm a pretty compassionate person,
I was standing there judging him. He doesn't even have food to eat and I'm standing there wearing my Queen B**** face wondering when I can move on with my day.

I felt like poo. Now If he did ask me for money, I would have still given him some, I always do. But what I realized was that my heart wouldn't have been right about it. I wouldn't have been giving him money because I cared and I genuinely wanted to show him God's love but because I know it's the right thing to do and I'd feel guilty if I didn't.

Feeling like a complete ass I asked him to wait a minute and I rushed into my kitchen to gather all the portable food I could find. I think I handed him most of the food in my cabinets, including my own lunch, before he went on his way.

As I'm sitting here wondering what the lesson is the Lord led me to Proverbs 31:8-9:
⁸ Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves,
for the rights of all who are destitute.
⁹ Speak up and judge fairly;
defend the rights of the poor and needy.

In the world today social justice is a big thing, and I love that about the Modern Church, but I think we need to examine what that really means and do we take things far enough? Sure we do our outreaches, we give to the poor, but do we stand up for them? Do we recognize the humanity that is digging through our dumpster and seek to defend their right to exist even if we don't understand/agree with their life choices?

I know many of us do, but it's easy to get jaded, especially when you live in an urban area, so let's not forget why we do what we do. I'm so blessed by the man who reminded me of this today. Thank you Jesus for keeping my heart in check.

Oh S***! It's Jesus!

2011-02-13T19:05:00.000-05:00

I saw this book on MPT's blog. I have to say that much like the rest of my generation, I'm pretty jaded when it comes to language. However, this took me back. At first, I thought it was a spoof or something(which somehow made it seem ok), but no, it's a real, Christian book. You can find it here on Amazon.

So far it has pretty good reviews so I kinda want to read it to see if it lives up to it's initial shock value. Not to mention it seems like a great thought at least from the initial description.

So what's your reaction? Does it bother you or kinda make you like it more?

BTW don't send me hate mail- it's not my book!

A question I can't answer.....

2011-02-10T08:27:00.019-05:00

What is worship? Somehow I always get asked this question and I seriously hate answering that question.

*sigh*

I know, I know. I'm a worship leader and so I'm supposed to have this completely epic answer, but the truth is when I get asked that question I usually stand there with my mouth gaping open until some generic answer I heard at some conference or read in a book falls out of my mouth.

It's not that I'm going blank or I have no idea what worship is. It's more like this rush of ideas. It's like the answer to that question is so big I can't fit it into words.

There are so many great concepts and ideas out there about worship and so many of them are dead on- how can you pick just one? In dealing with some changes in my life I've been working extra hard at understanding exactly what this thing is that God has called us all to and how I can be an effective leader in it.

When I first started going to church I was 18 and the answer was simple: Worship was the music we sang at the beginning of church. Simple. End of story. That answer isn't totally wrong but it's not right either. As the years have passed, God has added to it and broadened my understanding of worship. Worship is no longer confined to music or Sunday morning, and really it was never designed to be.

If you let it, worship becomes your life. That's really how God designed it. This kind of worship goes far beyond the music we hear or the songs we lip sync in the car on the way to work. This is deep, it's living, it's Holy-Spirit driven. You don't have to sing or play anything to do it well.

If you wiki Christian Worship, you'll find that even Wikipedia knows that "Worship is the central act of Christian Identity" Which goes back to the original question: "What is worship?" If it's so important, why isn't there one good answer?

I'm no Richard Foster or St. Francis (both have great concepts on worship BTW), but here's what I got so far: Worship can be anything we do, say, think, or convey that is directed towards the Lord. Worship can be intentional (like on Sundays or Bible study) or accidental (like when we give a dude change or take time to help someone move something heavy). Worship can be loud action (like servant evangelism or baptisms) or it can be still quiet in quiet reflection. It has less to do with what we are actually doing and more to do with the condition of our hearts. The Heart of Worship isn't just a great Matt Redman song- it's an achievable goal, a standard that God calls every believer to rise to. If you let God develop it in you, he will, and from that Worship goes from some handclapping and off-key singing on Sunday to a force that moves in you and through you and connect us and even people around us, with the living, breathing God......... kinda intense, right? It's at this point my brain goes in to overdrive and I'm so clogged with random thought I have to stop typing to avoid sounding like some over-indulging hipster. Maybe I'll just stick with my "straight from a book" answers for now :)

Worship can mean a lot of things to different people, above is just what I've discovered so far or at least what I can actually put into words right now. I'll repost in another 10 years and see what comes from that!

How about you? How would you answer the question?

Benny Hinn + Star Wars = EPIC!

2011-02-09T16:30:00.000-05:00

Benny just went from way lame to wicked awesome in my book!

(I know I posted this on FB recently but it's so freaking awesome I had to give it it's own place in blogging immortality. Thanks Joe Wisterman!)

Marketing Fail!

2011-02-08T21:55:00.000-05:00

Ummmmm.................. yeah.

How to Not Fail at Church Marketing 102

2011-02-08T10:51:00.000-05:00

Over the next few weeks and months, I would like to explore why it is that churches and Christian organizations struggle so much in the areas of marketing and cultural relevance. I know the reason vary a lot, so I'll just cover a few. To start with let's examine the pitfall of PERCEPTION.

If you chat with people who are responsible for a marketing fail, you will find they have no idea. They don't think it's irrelevant or poorly designed, and they can't see why I think that way. I have to admit at first I thought these people were just complete morons, but now I realize that is not the case. The problem is perception.

These people either have no idea who their audience is and/or they have no idea what is appealing to them. The worst is those who fail to realize that there is an audience outside the 'Christian Bubble' and those are the people who need to be appealed to the most. How can you avoid this pitfall?

1. Know your audience. Is your ministry for teens? older adults? families? everybody? Many churches don't vary their ads and looks from ministry to ministry. You really need to, because what is appealing to a 15 year old will not likely appeal to a 35 year old.

2. Know your culture. I don't believe in making carbon copies of pop culture, but you should still be familiar with it. That way you can look at the trends and use that as a catalyst for your own creativity. You should look in the magazines and watch some of the shows and advertising that are popular to your audience. For example: If you are targeting teenagers, watch Mtv, not for the content but for the ads. Pay attentions to the colors, the fonts, and the general art style, and think about how you can piece together those creative elements for your purposes.

3. Know what you're doing. If you don't know how to use photoshop, don't attempt to make art. If you don't know how to use Premiere, don't make a video. It's really that simple. Either learn the skills, hire someone who does, or buy a piece from a professional.

What do you think? Where do you see the greatest disconnect at your church?

How to Not Fail at Church Marketing 101

2011-02-08T10:47:00.001-05:00

For months now I have been posting the numerous marketing failure that exist in this world of Church Media. People think it's funny, and yeah, it can be. However, it really is an issue to take note of. As the culture we live in becomes more visual and people become more technological, this gap continues to widen. It makes the Church appear less and less relevant when really we should be on the bleeding edge of our culture. We shouldn't copy TV shows, corporate logos, or MTV. As Christian author and screenwriter, Craig Detweiler so aptly explained in an interview with ABC News:

"If you are truly connected to the creator of the universe you should be the most creative and risk-taking people on the planet," he said. "You would be coming up with new ideas and new visions all the time. That's our heritage and hopefully we'll get back to it. "For hundreds of years, Christians were the patrons of the arts," he added. "You have the renaissance that resulted. ... You had Michelangelo and Leonardo DaVinci paid by the church to make masterpieces. And now we we're reduced to pale imitation of the worst elements of pop culture. I rather have us lead a renaissance in the arts instead of imitate those who have gone before us."
Many Pastor's and church leaders I've talked to agree that churches are lagging. Many would even say it about their own churches. I don't think it's that we don't care about improving our media, it's really that we don't know where to begin. Most of the time I hear Pastors say, "We can't afford it" or "It's such a big project".

I will tell you now- You can afford it AND it's not as hard as you think.

Over the next several months I will be doing my best to gather the information and resources to get even the smallest of churches on the road to Media awesomeness!

To begin let's talk about what is holding us back.

1. Money- Most churches think that Quality media costs a lot of money, but the truth is it doesn't have to. If you can't afford Media people on staff, there are many websites and resources where you can buy from professionals very inexpensively. There are also many quality free resources. (list coming soon)

2. Priorities- This goes hand and hand with money. As most churches grow, they hire a lead pastor, worship pastor, children's pastor, secretary, and a bevy of other associate pastors. Meanwhile their media and marketing is disorganized and sloppy. Yeah they are probably reaching some people but I can't help but think how much we limit ourselves. Last year I was hired on by a church plant called NewDay. This church had not even opened it's doors yet and I was the first person they put on staff. Some people might say, well why? You see NewDay's pastor Denis understood something that few pastors do: MEDIA IS AN ESSENTIAL MINISTRY not just pretty stuff to look at. Media is powerful in our culture and we should prioritize it as such. Because NewDay placed Media high on the priority list, they had a very successful launch, actually one of the most successful church plant launches I've ever seen. Even now as I've left they continue to have a successful Media Ministry, which is unheard of for a church less than a year old. Bottom line: If you are a church with no media staff or no media budget, you should rethink your priorities and be certain that you're not limiting the reach of your ministry by leaving out such an essential element.

3. Education- I would say this is the number one reason that so many Marketing Fails exist. People who specialize in Media and Design know what they are doing. We spend countless hours thinking about every little detail, we will go pixel by pixel if needed to get something just right, we know how to understand our audience. If you don't know what you're doing, they find someone who does or find some classes and educate yourself.

Some people may think I'm being a bit snobbish, but please understand that I speak from a place of love. I love the Church and I love the people in it and the people who aren't in it (yet). That's what the marketing fails are really all about. It's things like those that keep people away, so we should fix it- simple as that. Many Pastors have tricked themselves into thinking it's not a big deal, but I'm telling you now to people today- IT IS A BIG DEAL!

Besides the cultural relevance factor, there is also the element of taking care of our own. God has given us so many artists in all areas; painting, computer design, music, sculpture, etc, and we are always placed on the back burner. Churches say they want creativity but refuse to employ creatives, and thus forcing our best artists to work elsewhere. So all this creative awesomeness is going out the door. The church used to employ artists all the time and now I rarely see a church of less than 1000 paying an artist for anything. If you are a growing church then you should seek to have a creative arts/media person. There should be someone overseeing the arts and drawing in other artists, and even helping people find their artistic skills. I personally feel that we have many 'hidden' creatives in the church and we just need more creative pastors to lead and shepard these people as they discover their talents.

Stay Tuned for 'How to Not Fail at Church Marketing 102'!

Marketing Fail of the Day

2011-01-12T17:13:00.000-05:00

(Bumper stickers King James style- I want one that says, "Thou art a douche")

UPDATE: I posted this in 2009 and got an incredible amount of flack for it. Somehow it's ok for me to say other less pretty words but the moment I jokingly call someone a douche people start chasing me with pitchforks. For the record- I still think this is funny......... I guess I didn't learn my lesson the first time :-P

Bubble People

2011-01-11T10:10:00.000-05:00

Do you or someone you know live inside the ‘Christian Bubble’. I borrowed that term from a book I read once called ‘They Like Jesus but Not the Church’ by Dan Kimball. It’s a term that describes the ‘inner circle’ type of mentality that many of us have. So many believers throughout history have fallen into this bubble mentality without even thinking twice. It pains me to think about how many people I can think of that I know and love who spend their days shielding themselves from the world instead of bringing light to it. These people love Jesus, and they know all about the Bible and they pray like crazy- many of these people are viewed as being really good Christians people, but they are missing the point! I love it when these people say “Well, we’re supposed to be in the world, not of it” I nearly bust out laughing every time one of the ‘bubble people’ say this to me. I mean, really? You think that justifies legalism? Being judgmental? You think God’s cool with the fact that you don’t have any friendships with non-Christians because of that? Do you think that being ‘in the world’ is only a reference to the fact that you live on the planet earth? Do you really think that living a super conservative lifestyle means you’re not ‘of the world’? I mean the list of questions goes on. This is why it’s so dangerous to base your lifestyle on just one verse in the bible.

Okay, now back on task:
Jesus didn’t hang around the church building, shaking hands, and drinking coffee. He didn’t spend His days at home, reading from the Torah, and praying for God to help the world find Him. He got off his rear and went to the world. He knew that he would be ridiculed, judged, and killed, but he went anyway. He didn’t just hang out with the church folk, as a matter of fact He hung out with the sinners. Oddly enough, it was the church folk that mocked him and the sinners who grew to be his best supporters.
Fast forward to today. If Jesus were here, what would he do? If He saw a girl going into an abortion clinic, would He shake a sign and shout she’s a baby killer? If He met a stripper, would He shame her and make her feel worse than she already does? If He passed a drunk, homeless guy on the street, would He quickly look the other way and pretend He didn’t see him? If He met a gay man, would he hand him a cheesy tract about how homosexuality is wrong? the answer to all these questions is HECK NO! So then why do Christians? To be fair there a vast number of us that do strive to live outside the walls of comfort. However, the above is how the world perceives us. The few balanced voices that exist are often drowned out by the loud, shouting voices of the extremes. Those who speak out against these extremes are verbally stoned, so they rarely act/speak out for fear of having their faith questioned by extremists.
So what do we do? Well, lets start in Hebrews 13:13-20 (from the Message)

"13-15So let's go outside, where Jesus is, where the action is—not trying to be privileged insiders, but taking our share in the abuse of Jesus. This "insider world" is not our home. We have our eyes peeled for the City about to come. Let's take our place outside with Jesus, no longer pouring out the sacrificial blood of animals but pouring out sacrificial praises from our lips to God in Jesus' name.
16Make sure you don't take things for granted and go slack in working for the common good; share what you have with others. God takes particular pleasure in acts of worship—a different kind of "sacrifice"—that take place in kitchen and workplace and on the streets.
17Be responsive to your pastoral leaders. Listen to their counsel. They are alert to the condition of your lives and work under the strict supervision of God. Contribute to the joy of their leadership, not its drudgery. Why would you want to make things harder for them?
18-20Pray for us. We have no doubts about what we're doing or why, but it's hard going and we need your prayers. All we care about is living well before God."

That is it: Go outside. Know that because of your faith in Christ, you are already not ‘of the world’. Don’t allow your fear or judgement to keep you from living ‘in the world’ Go to a bar and make some friends and don’t tip your bartender with a tract about ‘riches in heaven’. Find out how to show people that you love them with no other motive. Don’t take you gay co-worker to coffee with the intent of ‘saving’ him. Take him to coffee with the intent of getting to know him and loving him just as he is. God can/will take care of whatever else is needed. Understand that you will be judged and ridiculed for this behavior (mostly by other Christians). ‘We’ are His hands and feet, so we need to let our feet go where He would and let our hands do the work that He did. This Christ-like love is what changes lives. Jesus doesn’t change people through ridicule and shame. He changes people through His love and sacrifice. To be truly following Christ, we should reflect His love and bear the pain of sacrifice. ‘We’ are the Church.... let’s not keep it for ourselves.

Cultural Relevance begins at the Cross

2011-01-10T11:06:00.000-05:00

Relevance is such a buzzword in churches right now. We all say that we are and we take a great deal of time ensuring the cultural relevance of our services. I’m a huge fan of what I call ‘intentional relevance’ in churches. I believe that intentional relevance can be a very powerful tool to create an environment that is optimum for reaching the unreached. It’s really just a term I use to encompass how we use various elements like drama, music, lights, sound, visual art, etc. to get the message across on any given Sunday.

I was on a walk not long ago doing some brainstorming. As I strolled around, I passed a church in my neighborhood. I’ve passed it a million times, but this time it really caught my attention. The sun wasn’t quite up and this church has a glowing cross lit on the top of it. I just stopped and stared. This cross that I had seen before suddenly was so mesmerizing. I felt God say; “This is relevant above all other things” It just really spoke to me as a creative in the church.

I never felt that my thoughts and ideas have compromised or water-down the message, but in that moment I realized something: My thoughts and ideas need to begin at the Cross-, every time. Usually we take ‘what’s now’ and try to tailor the message of the Cross to it, but that’s backwards. We should be the most creative group of people on earth, and to really reach our full potential, we must start with God and let Him dictate our creative thoughts.

I don’t say this to deter anyone from using all the creative elements, but rather to help us use them better. We don’t need to copy Movie Titles or TV Show to be relevant. You don’t need to copy cultural catch phrases and slogans. We really need to let God give us His fresh ideas. Which are light years ahead of anybody in Hollywood. The Church has developed a reputation of being irrelevant and stale because of our attempts to achieve relevance by our own means. Just like with anything else, we need to rely on God to direct us and inspire us.

God is not this fuddy duddy grandpa we all make him out to be. He knows what will reach people today, next year, and five years from now.

Cultural Relevance begins at the Cross. From there His creativity breeds our creativity.

We Are The Poor

2011-01-09T22:45:00.000-05:00

"-and the good news is preached to the poor." Matthew 11:5 (NIV)

I've probably read that line several times and I don't think I've ever thought of it as significant before. Jesus said this when he was speaking to some of John the Baptist's disciples. For those of you who care, here it is in context:
"⁴Jesus replied, "Go back and report to John what you hear and see: ⁵The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor. ⁶Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of me." Matthew 11:4-6 (NIV)

You can see the whole poor thing is kinda stuck in the middle and seems dwarfed in significance by the miracles before it. However, today when I read it, I found it to be quite intriguing. Like many of us when I think of preaching to the poor, I think of homeless people and third world countries. Yes, the Gospel is needed there but I don't think that's what Jesus was talking about here; at least not all he was talking about.

The greek word for poor here is Ptochos (don't even ask me to pronounce it) it actually has various meanings. It does mean poor in a monetary sense, but that's not all it means. It also means lowly, afflicted, destitute of the Christian virtues and eternal riches, helpless, powerless to accomplish an end and destitute of wealth of learning and intellectual culture. That one little word has many meanings and I think that all of those are encompassed here.

When Jesus says the Gospel will be preached to the poor, he's not just talking about the less affluent of society, He's really talking about the average Joe. He's talking about all those who lack His eternal riches. He's addressing those who are uneducated (as most were in that day). He really encompassing all the people that the Religious elite of that day (aka the Pharisees) were leaving out. In today's terms, He's talking about all the people who don't live inside the 'Christian Bubble' that we sometimes like to create. There are people out there (many in fact) who were not raised in families who go to church. There are many who think Christianity is not relevant for them, they don't understand it, or they don't feel like they would be/aren't accepted by us. These are the people Jesus is talking about. These are the people we should be talking to. Many of us were/are these people.

Lesson?

Jesus didn't come for the smartest, purest, or the most able. Being a follower of Christ is not about being part of the spiritual elite. It's about being yourself and knowing that is good enough for God. He's not looking for theologians. He's not looking for people who have that Christian appearance. He's not looking for perfection. He's looking for you just as you are.

humanity to divinity

2011-01-09T09:44:00.000-05:00

The other day I was commenting on a blog over at Revolution115 and I said: "God takes our ordinary humanity and infuses it with His extraordinary divinity". It was one of those statements that made me pause and think. I have to give credit to God for it, because I really am not smart enough to say something that profound on my own. It stuck in my head and as I began to chew on it, I decided I should try to expound on it.

Think about all the people you know from the Bible, even if you don't know their whole story or even their whole name. I would bet you that person was really nobody special at first. Look at people like Moses, David, Paul, Mary, or any of the Apostles. All regular people. Some of them were even considered evil by our standards. So, why do we remember them? The simple answer is that we remember them because of what God did with/through them, not really for any reasons that have to do with the person.

Many people in the Bible were extremely ordinary, but the God took their ordinary and made it extraordinary. I believe that this is what God wants to do in us. Apart from God, we are just people surviving until we die, purposeless and depraved. When we give our humanity over to God, He infuses it with His divinity. When we are living for God we find that we have purpose, hope for eternity, and we find that the impossible is possible. There will never be a book of Emily in the Bible, but God wants to use me that same way He did the people in the Bible. Remember that Jesus said:

" ¹²I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. ¹³And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father." John 14:12-13

The New Testament days were not the end of God's miracles and purpose, it was the beginning. We are the continuation of what Jesus started. He even tells us that we will see even greater things. I believe that's true, not because we're so special, but because our God is so extraordinary. We are part of the story that God is writing.

Marketing Fail of the Day

2011-01-08T23:10:00.000-05:00

(really, what is the point of this. If you have one of these, don't tell me, because I will never stop mocking you. I think even Jesus would have an issue with this thing)

Yeah, I'm divorced....... Part 2

2011-01-08T20:17:00.000-05:00

I thought that filing for divorce would be the hardest thing, but I was wrong. The toughest times were yet to come.

For any you contemplating divorce. Let me say this: Try everything and if the marriage is really broken, just prepare yourself. As bad as your marriage may be, the pain that follows a divorce will be a thousand times worse. It is usually short-lived, but make no mistake, the pain is immense.

So, here I was 23 and already getting divorced. I felt like a failure. I felt like I failed my friends, my daughter, and even God. I had no idea what to do or where to turn. I tried to talk to my christian friends, but I was met with a sense of shame and disapproval.
I was constantly being prodded to just 'work it out'. I was even told that I would never be allowed to lead worship or practice ministry again. I think my friends just didn't know what else to say. They knew how to deal with people who weren't Christians and dealt with the pain of divorce, but I was different. I was a Christian, I had led others, and I think because we were so efficient at hiding our issues, my friends were simply shocked.

I didn't think I could go to church. I tried a couple of times but the voices of my friends echoed in my head and I just felt such a deep sense of shame. I couldn't even sit through a service. I thought to myself, "I don't want to be a part of this anymore". I couldn't understand how people who claimed to love me so much could be so insensitive and in some cases just mean. I remember when I asked God to leave. I couldn't deal with how much I felt like I let him down. I no longer felt worthy of Him.

In the midst of losing my husband, losing God, and dealing with what ended up being a fierce custody battle, I met up with Chris. Chris and I had dated for a few months in high school, but nothing serious. In the absence of God in my life, I sought out a warm body to relate to. Chris and I quickly became involved. Even then I didn't feel really worthy of anything, so just when the relationship started to get serious, I broke up with him. I dated a few other guys, but I knew I really liked Chris. Eventually, we got back together. Now our relationship progressed much too quickly. Soon, we were engaged- less then a year after getting divorced. Now I'm currently married to him and I wouldn't have it any other way, but this was definitely a dangerous idea at first. You see, both of us were starved from loneliness. This drew us together. It's only by God's grace that our marriage has turned into the wonderful thing that it is today. Chris was raised in church, but didn't go. I didn't want to go to church because I felt ashamed.

One day I went to a church called the Salvage Yard. I just felt like I really needed to try again and the name sounded like a good place for someone like me. I liked it. The pastor there, had been through a divorce while being a pastor. We related. He'd experienced a lot of the same rejection that I had. Meeting with him was a turning point. Then a few weeks into attendance, I found out I was pregnant. Chris and I were months away from being married and here I was pregnant. Shame set in again. I asked that pastor to go to lunch with me and I remember sitting there at Chili's bawling as I told him. I waited for the reprimand that I knew I deserved, but it never came. He said, "It happens." No judgment, no condescension, no anything. I don't remember what else he said, but I remember how I felt better.

All this time I know God was protecting me and preparing me. Even though I'd asked him to leave, He didn't. He just hid. He put the right people around me. He kept pulling me back in. Slowly, I started to come back around. Chris and I got married and my youngest was born. Both of us began returning to God. I remember the night that God took all my shame away. I started attending church at my old church on Wed nights. I knew I could fly under the radar on Wed. I don't remember what was taught, but I remember I went up to the guy teaching when it was all done and asked him to pray for me. To know how significant that is, you have to know that I pretty much NEVER ask anybody to pray with me in person. I tearfully told him my story and how I felt, and he prayed. As I drove home, I was crying so hard I barely stand it, and I remember God spoke, "Just worship me. It's what you do best. You bring me great pleasure. You bring me joy. My child, I love you." In that moment restoration happened. I began to feel that fire towards God again. I knew that all was not lost. God stilled loved me and He makes me worthy to be loved. I knew right then that I would still be in ministry someday. I knew that God was turning all the pain into something good. There were still struggles ahead, but I held on to that.

I could go on forever about all the ups and downs divorce has taken me through. This was really a VERY brief synopsis. The whole story would probably be more like novel than a blog :) I still deal with it everyday. There will always be Christians who think less of me for it. I am tested in how I deal with my ex-husband even today, and Satan will always try to throw guilt and shame back into my life.

I really just wanted to share so people who love someone going through can have some perspective, and so people who are contemplating it can know the seriousness of it, and so people who are dealing with it can have hope.

Divorce is a hard thing, but God specializes in restoring things that we consider lost. That's my story. I would love to hear your story if you care to share or if you're dealing with it and you'd like some encouragement please email me: happyemjo@gmail.com

Thanks for reading and I promise I'll post something funny later to offset the seriousness of my last two posts :)

Yeah, I'm divorced....... Part 1

2011-01-08T08:53:00.001-05:00

Divorce- oh, my! This is one of those issues that I've always wanted to talk about but I'm scared to talk about. However, I feel that I need to talk about it now. After all, how will the stigma surrounding divorced people ever fall away if we don't talk about it? Even though this story is the short version- I still had to divide it in two parts. Divorce is a complicated beast and I wanted to really do justice to the issue and honestly portray my personal experiences.

So, here's my story- the short version: When I was 18, I became a Christian. I am a highly emotional person, I would say that my choice to follow Christ was more of an emotional decision. The real growth and relationship happened slowly over time (but that's another post).
I got saved in a little pentecostal church where some guy I wanted to date brought me. Truthfully, I only went for the guy, but God seized the opportunity and went to work. Just 4 months afterward, I found myself married to that guy. his name was Jeremy. Some of you reading this probably know/knew him. If so, some of this may make you uncomfortable.... sorry. Anyhow, I was 18 and just thought life was peachy. Jeremy wanted to be a youth pastor and I wanted to sing. It seemed quite perfect, but it wasn't. Now I could sit here and name off everything that was wrong with this marriage. I could make a list a mile long of his shortcomings, but I won't. I'm past that. Let's just say this: It was bad. It was bad from the beginning. Within 2 years, I knew I'd made a very stupid choice. I didn't know him when I married him, hell, I was 18, I didn't even know myself yet. During our marriage we kept our issues concealed. At one point I asked him to go marriage counseling or talk to our pastor, but he didn't want to for reasons I'm not sure I even understand today. So behind closed doors, we carried on. We didn't really talk or do much together. He did his thing and I did mine. He became a youth pastor and then worked for another church as a graphic designer. I led worship and did various ministries. Around our 4th year of marriage I became pregnant. Honestly, I'm not even sure how because 1) I had fertility issues and 2) we rarely had sex. So, I conclude that God really wanted my oldest baby to be here :)

Anybody who tells you that a baby will make your relationship stronger has never been in an unstable relationship. Now, I'm not blaming my daughter at all, but it was the stress of adding a baby onto an already collapsing house that ultimately resulted in the demise of the marriage. He lost his job. At that time he told me he quit, but I later found out was really happened (but I won't get into that) We had no close friends to talk to, he didn't want counseling, and I felt like my whole world was about to come crashing in around me. After Elise was born, I found myself working 50 hours a week, missing my newborn baby. We had to live with his mother (not very fun) and he wanted to leave our church, which was the job he lost, so I had no church family. I was close to the edge. I was 22 and felt hopeless. I had to take Prozac just to get through my day. I wanted to escape, so I did. I have a very good friend who does ministry in San Diego and I decided that we should go there. I don't know what I wanted, but I wanted to be somewhere else. So, in the fall of 2005, we packed up our van, baby and all, and went. I was happy to be there. Bethany is my best friend and I had missed having her around. It was nice to feel like there was somebody one my side again. During this time, I once again was forced to work because he wouldn't and soon I found myself in the same situation. Working, lonely, miserable. I remember very specifically the first time I told him I was done. I was driving down Market St. towards the bay. I went over a hill and it just came out, "I want to separate." His response was really nothing. He just said, "I can't go anywhere because I don't have a job." I sighed. A few weeks later, I got into a car accident that destroyed my car so I couldn't go to work. That was the moment that I decided I needed to change something and fast. I wanted to fly home, so we did. On the plane I told him, "When we land, you go to your mom's house and I'll go to mine." That was it for me. There were some months of back and forth. Suddenly, he wanted to change, but for me that ship had sailed.

To be continued......... READ PART 2 HERE

One is the Loneliest Number

2011-01-02T08:53:00.000-05:00

This was hard for me to write. I like to observe and discuss things that happen around me, but I'm not a big fan of discussing my own problems. I just felt really strongly when I woke up this morning that some of you out there may be wrestling with this issue of loneliness. I'm not really writing this to say "woes me, I'm so lonely", but instead I feel compelled to write it for those of you out there in the same boat. As I work through this, maybe it'll help you work through it and know that you're not alone in feeling how you feel.

I've never really been one of those people who has a ton of friends. I don't have 60 people who call me when I'm down. I don't really ever go out with people other than my husband. I have very few people who really know me on a personal level. Is that by choice? No, not really. It just is. It's been like that for many years, but I never really thought much about. As I get a little older, I'm beginning to think more about my connections with others.

I can count on one hand the number of people who've I've been close friends with (that includes my husband). Up until recently, I always thought that was pretty sad and pathetic. I would think, "I'm a nice person. I'm fun. I'm social. What's wrong with me?" Even as I sit here and pose that questions I can feel God saying, "Nothing. There's nothing wrong with you." So then, why? Why do some of us have a plethora of friends while others have few or none? Well, I'm not going to pretend like I can answer that for everybody, but here's what I've discovered about me:

1. I am honest. Most people would say honesty is a good thing, and then they meet me. I was born with a defective filter between my brain and my mouth. Usually, whatever I'm thinking is exactly what spills out of my mouth. Some people (not many) appreciate my candor, but most think I'm being rude or simply unpleasant. Some people even make judgements on me for it. I get called things like prideful, self-righteous and not a Christian by people who don't even know me!
2. I am a multi-talented person. I actually have trouble recognizing that in myself. It feels prideful to say, but as I grow, I realize that God designed me that way for a purpose. I need to embrace it and use it for His glory. Having said that, it can intimidating. Highly creative people who can do many things tend to be on the fringe of their communities and intimidation is one reason why. It is also hard for these types to feel connected because our brains operate in what seems like the opposite direction of most of our peers.
3. I distance myself. Yes, this is partially self-inflicted. I don't like to get close to people for a couple of reasons. 1) I'm afraid that the more the get to know me, the less they will like me. 2) I've had a very painful life and I can hardly tell somebody about my life and testimony without bursting into tears. Being somebody that despises crying in front of others, I generally avoid this type of heart to heart conversation.
4. I won't change. Okay, it's not that I won't ever change things. I change as God wills it to happen, but there are some things that God has placed in me that will never change. I see many people around me who have this level of social adaptability that I will never have. Like a chameleon they can morph and fit in to any social group. They relate instantly to those around them. That ain't me folks. Call it stubborn, but I what I am, and I don't want to adapt to the norm so people will like me. When I try, it feels somehow wrong. We can call it shooting myself in the foot, but I prefer to call it strong in my convictions.

I'm sure there are many more reasons, but that's what I have so far. I find that the more I discover the 'why' behind the things that bother me, the more I find peace about it. There are some days when I feel very lonely. I feel like I can't talk to anybody. I feel like know one understand me. Even though I am very active in my church and interact with many people in the course of working on various projects, there are days when I feel like a total outsider. On those days, God reminds me of who He is and who I am. He reminds me that He's my best friend. He knows me, understands me, and accepts me for all my flaws and weakness. He never questions my heart or my motives, because He knows me better than I know me. Learning this type of dependence has not been easy, in fact I'm still working on it. I just try to remind myself of why I'm here. The role that God has given me in His Kingdom is just not one that creates many friends, but compromising myself to fit in would compromise my relationship with my best (and some days only) friend, God.

What about you? Which side of the fence do you fall on?

"My Precious"

2010-04-09T22:26:00.004-04:00

OK so I'll admit it, I'm a total geek. Today as I was reading the Bible (Matthew) I started thinking about the Lord of the Rings, and not just because it was a kick-ass movie. I was reading in Matthew 6:19-21:

¹⁹"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. ²⁰But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. ²¹For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

I know most of us have heard this verse in some interpretation many times. As I read it today I kept thinking of Gollum. More specifically how much I can be like him at times. Yeah, I am more attractive on my exterior, and I can speak in coherent sentences, but there are days when I become just as rank and nasty on the inside. Don't we all?

Jesus knew this. He knew that we would want to follow Him and do well, but at the same time the forces of evil are constantly pressuring us and luring us into a prison of our own selfishness. It doesn't matter whether you're a Christian or not, we are all subject to this torment at times.

We begin to think that our lives depend on superficial things. By doing this we misplace our faith. We stop placing our faith in God and instead we place it in something else like money, appearance, sex, status, jobs, etc. Then our mind, energy, and heart goes into securing and replicating whatever that is. Are you starting to see the danger here?

There is nothing wrong with having money, looking nice, or even sex (within God's standards), but none of them should rule our lives or dictate our day. Our thoughts should not be monopolized with getting 'more' like a crack addict looking for his next hit.

I live on the beach, so I am in sand all the time, and let me tell you it's not stable. If you scoop up some sand and try to squeeze it, you will quickly find it slipping between your fingers- the tighter you grip; the more you lose. That's what happens when we try to hold tight to our treasures. The things that may seem important are really just powdery sand- it's fun, smooth, and feels good between your toes, but it's not good for much more. God is a rock or better yet a mountain. You can hold him as tight as you need- He will never crumble, never move, and never fail.

What is your "Precious"?

Hear No Evil by Matthew Paul Turner AND a GIVEAWAY!

2010-02-20T18:04:00.003-05:00

Hear no evil is a great book. I have to say as someone who has traveled through the colorful and sometimes disturbing world of the Christian subculture, this book brought back memories. Matthew Paul Turner talks about his life as it relates to music and his faith.

It begins with some funny history of growing up in a fundamental Baptist church where hymns are the standard and George Michael was forbidden. Then he talks about his adulthood, working for CCM and exploring the darkest parts of the Christian music industry.

This book will make you think and make you cringe at the same time. It's an honest look at the Church's sometimes failing relationship with music and how it affects us all. It paints a candid picture of how dangerous it can be to live exclusively in the Christian music subculture.

I love the journey that he portrays. It's honest and full of hope. If you were raised by parents who didn't let you listen to Nirvana or watch Mtv, read this book. If you don't watch anything but TBN or listen to anyone but Gloria Gaither, read this book. If you're just an in between Christian (I fall here)- read this book. It's really a great and quick read.

AND on that note I'd like to announce a GIVEAWAY! Just tweet a link to this article before monday to enter or if you're lazy you can copy and paste: RT @happyemjo Hear No Evil by @JesusNeedsNewPR review and FREE BOOK GIVEAWAY! www.upwardcreativity.blogspot.com

For My Valentine......

2010-02-14T16:47:00.005-05:00

10 Reasons I Love My Husband(there's way more than ten, but if I listed everything we'd be here all day):

1. He's a great husband in every way
2. He's shy and geeky (yeah, I'm into that)
3. He loves me on days when I'm bitchy
4. He thinks I'm prettiest with no makeup
5. He encourages and supports me even when it's inconvenient
6. He never says, "I told you so."
7. He let's me snuggle when I need it but understands when I want to be left alone
8. He still kisses me passionately
9. He loves the Lord
10. He is a loving and involved father

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

Forever and a Day

2010-02-10T13:57:00.003-05:00

I know, I know, I haven't posted anything in quite a while. My life has been crazy busy. God is doing some great things, but those things are definitely tiring me out! This month things will be getting back in gear, my friends! This week I'll be posting the next edition of "How Not to Fail at Church Marketing" and next week there will be a giveaway!!

Stay Tuned!

Prayer for Haiti and How You Can Help!

2010-01-14T09:05:00.004-05:00

Prayer for Haiti:
"God I speak healing over this broken nation. I pray that your Holy Spirit would be there in the rubble of this tragedy, Father God. I pray that you would heal those who are injured, comfort those who mourn, and pour your love and mercy over your children who so desperately need you in this dark hour. I pray that Your Church would become a mobilized task force to reach out and help this nation, not just with our pocketbooks but with our hands. I pray that out of this your love would become even greater in Haiti. I pray that you Father would turn this mourning into dancing as only you can. Bring restoration to your children in Haiti and to all your children. God, we are desperate for you. Please guide us and all our brothers and sisters in your perfect Will, and show us how we can glorify You today in Haiti and here at home. Once again I ask for your healing over Haiti Father. I love you. Amen"

I haven't posted any Fails since Monday, because with everything going on in Haiti, I just didn't feel like making a funny. Not to worry humor will grace this page again soon, but for today I would like to donate this space to helping the people of Haiti.

I hope that everyone who reads this will donate something to help the people of Haiti recover. Even if it's just $5- it helps!

Click Here to donate to Compassion International's Haiti Disaster Relief. Give joyfully in Jesus name!

Marketing Fail of the Day

2010-01-12T10:59:00.001-05:00

This is what happens when you teach Grandma how to use publisher....... not a good idea!
I'll say it once more: If you have to use clip art, you should NOT be making it.

Marketing Fail of the Day

2010-01-11T12:08:00.003-05:00

Yes He does, but I don't think He planned on having one of the Knights who say Ni tell me about it. What's next? Peng? Neee-Wom? Ekke Ekke Ekke Ekke Ptang Zoo Boing Zow Zing?
(if you don't know British comedy this fail makes no sense to you, sorry)

Marketing Fail of the Day

2010-01-10T14:09:00.000-05:00

Jesus will make your boo-boo's all better..... seriously though, what is our obsession with putting Jesus's face on everything from band-aids to frying pans?

Just call me Jonah........

2010-01-10T13:19:00.005-05:00

So here I am on a Sunday afternoon. My girls are napping, husband is working, and it's just me and God. Do you ever feel like you're avoiding God, and you can't quite figure out why? Kinda like Jonah, where you don't really want to or think you can do what God wants you to, and easiest thing to do is simply avoid God. Like Jonah, we learn the hard way that there is no avoiding God. Fortunately, I've not yet been thrown overboard and swallowed by a giant fish. Instead, a constant drawing, this feeling of being pressed and squeezed.

All my life I have struggled with confidence on the deepest level, and up until now, my Father has pretty much let me get away with it, but now I feel it changing.

I'm not going to get deep into anything, but after years of working at it, I still feel inadequate to do the things that God has called me to do. Have you been there? I just keep telling God, well, let me get better at this, let me practice longer, I'm not ready to lead anyone or I can't do [fill in blank]. Usually God extends grace and lets me walk down the road at a glacial pace that makes me comfortable, but not now, not in this season. God is pushing and like an idiot I like to dig my heels into the ground.

I think many of us go through things like this at some point, but I have to say, I've never felt so fearful or overwhelmed. So I wonder, why? Why do we feel this way when God is pushing us to that next level?

Well, here are my why's. For you they may be different:

1. The unknown- when God has to push us, it's usually because we won't go on our own and that is usually because it's something new. We fear what we don't know and what we can't predict.

2. Control- as much as I think I don't mind God having control over my life, in times like these, I find that my humanity creeps in and I do mind. Even as I grow up in my faith, I still have so many "well, just let me drive" moments with God. I mean don't we all?

3. The enemy- Our ever present foe who loves to undermine whatever God is trying to do. He wants to convince us that we can't, shouldn't, or that we will fail.

4. Doubt- I don't doubt God, but sometimes I struggle with being sure of what God is telling me. I will hear God and then doubt creeps in and I think, "well, was that really God or was that what I wanted to hear?" Deep down, I know God when I hear Him, but I still struggle with doubt. Being that I don't have a lot of close friends to weigh things out with, it can be hard to get the confirmation that my mind sometimes needs, even when my spirit already knows it's true.

I know this post is a bit self-indulgent and not widely helpful, sorry 'bout that. The truth is that I don't really have any answers about it. I just keep praying and trying to be obedient even when it makes me uncomfortable. I really don't think I can do these things that I feel led to do, but I do know that God won't set me up to fail, so if I trust Him, then I have to try and trust that He will make up for what I am lacking.

I know that when I get to where ever the heck it is God wants to take me, I will look back and say, "This is awesome, what was I whining about?"

Beautiful, Beautiful

2010-01-07T17:25:00.000-05:00

I was listening to a song today called "Beautiful, Beautiful" and it really made me reflect on God's grace. The opening words in the chorus are: "Like sunlight burning at midnight, making my life something so beautiful, beautiful" And it just made me think about how endless my failures are and how endless God's grace is. I know we all have failures, but I always feel like my past is so much more shady than that of my peers.

10 years ago, I was just some 17 girl. I was hurting and lost. I was addicted to drugs such as meth, cocaine, ecstasy, whatever I could find really. I wasn't so much addicted to the drugs chemically as emotionally. I used them to deal with my social and romantic pains and the shame of my sex life and emotionally abusive boyfriend. I knew about God, but never felt like I could be into that type of stuff. About 9 years ago, God went to work. I was set free from problems I didn't even know I had and God began to show me what I am worth to Him. I grew slowly over the next several years. Then I went through a really difficult divorce. I won't retell that story here. If you want, you can read my posts: Yeah I'm Divorced- Part 1 & Part 2.

I felt like that lost 17 yr old again. I felt so unworthy to even go to church, let alone approach God. It wasn't long before God went to work again, showing me how He sees me. Showing me that I could never make Him not want me. Sometimes, I think we are harder on ourselves than God will ever be. I know this is true for me. I can sit for hours and self evaluate my actions. What I've learned is that God approaches things so very differently.

God is fully aware of our condition. He knows we will mess up many things, big and small. Yet, He chooses to stick by us anyhow.

There are times in my life when I feel like I've just messed up too much. Like God is gonna say, "Well, that was the last straw! You're on your own kid!" - I actually think that sometimes. However, I'm beginning to notice a pattern......

I constantly screw things up, like everyday, and yet, God has never so much as shaken His head in disappointment at me. I've been broken in some of the most deep and painful ways a person can be broken in and yet I always seem to come out with out so much as a scratch. As a matter of fact, I always seem to come out looking better than before.

That my friends, is Grace.

No matter what we do, no matter how far we go off the path, God is right there with open arms ready to accept us and change us with His grace, mercy and love. Where we see mistakes, God sees opportunity. Where we see failure, God sees potential. If I had a perfect or even normal life, I would not be who I am. It's the friction of my life that has shaped me into who I need to be in God's Kingdom, so I can do what He has for me to do.

There are still days when I feel regret and get overwhelmed but the inevitable backlash of my failures. However, I am always reminded of Romans 5:3-5:

³Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴perseverance, character; and character, hope."

I have suffered, some caused by my own hand and some not, but I know that God doesn't want us to dwell in it. He wants us to look at our sufferings as opportunities and see the hope we have in Him. He will use our brokenness, both past and present, to recreate us into something better.

We have all failed, but God doesn't see that when He looks at us. God doesn't see what we are, He sees who we will be. We can try to mess things up a hundred times and He will never stop believing in us. I think we too often forget that God is love and love never fails. Don't ever feel ashamed to run to God. He is for us. Even when we walk away He never stops believing in us. He never stops wanting the best for his children.

I look at my life today and the direction God is taking me. It overwhelms me with joy and humility. He really has made my life beautiful before Him and it's not because I'm "super special", it's only because He loves me. It's a humbling thought.

How about you? Do you struggle with this? How do you work it out?

Marketing Fail of the Day

2010-01-07T16:34:00.000-05:00

Is it me or does Jesus look a bit like a pedophile?

Marketing Fail of the Day

2010-01-05T13:58:00.003-05:00

(Can I picket Westboro Baptist instead?)
P.S.- this is an actual press release from them. I found it on a secular new site.
Dear Westboro: thanks for completely misrepresenting Christ and all His peeps to an already critical world. You suck!

Marketing Fail of the Day

2010-01-04T11:32:00.000-05:00

You see, I always say that Walmart is the devil. This just proves my point :)

Marketing Fail of the Day

2010-01-02T19:42:00.002-05:00

What!? A bowl of loaves and fish? Personally I would like to see the a Revelation Jesus with fire in his eyes and a sword in his hand, a white horse, ya know the all that. Now that says Jesus is here to kick butt and take names!

Best Blog Posts of 2009!

2010-01-01T22:05:00.006-05:00

Being that this is a new(ish) blog, I didn't have a vast array of content to choose from. So, I chose some of my own and some from my favorite bloggers. (Although theirs should really rank higher than mine, cause their all freakin' awesome!)

So, anyways.....

Here are my Fav 3 from the professional (AKA-cooler than me) bloggers:

1. Ladies: Stuff About Your Husband from Matthew Paul Turner's Jesus Needs New PR. So funny but so right on. I love that Christians are getting to a place where we can openly discuss sex and how to make it better. A MUST READ and trust me it all works!
2. The Stigma of Bipolar Disorder from Anne Jackson's Flowerdust.net. This was just the most honest and real thing I'd read this year. It's something many Christians deal with but no one wants to talk about. I just loved this post and it really challenged me personally.
3. Surviving the Church as a Single- I am not single, but if I were this post would be the best thing I've read all year. Even though I've not single, it is still funny and very witty. I cannot wait for his book to come out. I'm sure it will be equally brilliant!

Here are my fav 3 on Upward Creativity:

1. I'm Sorry, Did I Offend You?- This post was my most popular to date. I really felt compelled by God to write it how I felt it and He really used it.
2. Bubble People- This was one of my very first blog, but it has really set the tone for all my posts. If you read my blog regularly you will constantly here me refer to 'bubble people'
3. Love Can Be the Hardest Thing- I like this, because it's one of the most honest things I've written. I hope to get even deeper into this in 2010.

2009- A Year in Fail

2010-01-01T11:32:00.000-05:00

Here are some of my favorite fails in 2009. They're not all marketing but they are all freakin' funny!

5. Star Wars is the Devil- Website Fail. Here we seem many misguided people who have waaaaaay too much time on their hands

4. Kanye West- I don't really like I need to explain this one. He was already douchy, but this year he edged out Jon Gosselin and Tiger Woods for the title of Douche King.

3. Adam Lambert- He went from American Idol to a gay burlesque show in a matter of months. So much potential but he's chosen to let his sexuality overshadow his natural talent- fail!

2. Penis-Shaped VeggieTales Cookies (via JesusNeedsNewPR) uh- it speaks for itself.

1. The Jesus Tree- this nearly ruined my Christmas by making it into Easter.

Mini Break

2009-12-28T00:51:00.001-05:00

Hey all! I am not posting again until Dec 31st :) We are blessed to have family in town and we want to make the most of our time together. Be sure to check back on Dec 31st for 2009- a year in fail :)!

Love,
Emily

Marketing Fail of the Day- Christmas Edition!

2009-12-25T16:47:00.000-05:00

This is an actual billboard in Europe....... um, wow

Marketing Fail of the Day

2009-12-23T23:22:00.002-05:00

........and your little dog too!

St Pete Vineyard Stage Design

2009-12-21T22:49:00.006-05:00

St Pete Vineyard recently was blessed to move to a new building. The building was in great shape but not our style. Thanks to many willing hearts and hands we were able to transform the building into our new home. I was part of the stage design team and below are some pics of what we, along with many talented volunteers, were able to do with our new stage. We have even more plans for artwork and other details but I'd say we're off to a good start :)

BEFORE:

AFTER:

Marketing Fail of the Day

2009-12-21T12:17:00.004-05:00

(I like to pair this with my high-waisted 'mom' jeans and a scrunchy.... sexy, eh?)

Marketing Fail of the Day

2009-12-19T10:57:00.002-05:00

"It's a 'Spiritual Accessory'- Personally I think the background music is the best part :)

Marketing Fail of the Day

2009-12-17T11:47:00.001-05:00

(They are very exclusive, I heard they even turned Jesus away)
provided by Chris Cahall

My little Gifts- Merry Christmas to Me! :)

2009-12-16T13:49:00.003-05:00

Marketing Fail of the Day

2009-12-16T08:29:00.003-05:00

(Just when we thought Jesus couldn't get any tastier!)

Love can be the Hardest Thing

2009-12-15T15:37:00.004-05:00

Sometimes being yourself in church can be the hardest thing. I almost feel bad for saying that, but it can be very true. Most of us have been hurt badly by people. We've been misunderstood, lied to, and just treated unfairly and not just in the world but in the church too. I know that sounds sad but it's not all bad. After all the Church is made up of people. We've likely hurt others as much as we've been hurt. I once heard Rick Warren say, "Hurt people, hurt people" How true is that? There was a day when people went to the church for sanctuary. It was a place to be at peace and find comfort regardless of your condition. Nowadays, I think many people aren't afraid of God they are afraid of us.

Now, there are many awesome churches and I believe that in general, Christians have a heart to do good things, so why is it that we have such a hard time walking in love with one another? Once again, I don't pretend to know, but here's a couple of things I've observed:

1. We are insecure- I have a strong personality and that makes a lot of people feel intimidated but what those people don't get is that I am just as insecure as they are. I have the same need to feel loved, accepted, and encouraged. I just express myself differently. We are all laced with insecurities and they often get in the way of our relationships with one another.

2. We are skeptics- Our society teaches us not to trust, especially when people are too nice or too eager. We are taught that there is so selflessness. I've learned that if you continuously question someone's motives, eventually they will let you down. So really instead of believing in our brother and sisters to succeed, we are just waiting for them to fail.

3. We are afraid- If you've been hurt, and let's face it, we've all been hurt. The worst thing you can imagine is being hurt again. These emotional scars are painful reminders of what we fear most and our natural human reaction is to flee anything that looks like it might reopen our wounds. I know this from experience. This kind of fear kept me from being in a small group for years and it is very unhealthy.

The solution? Heck, I don't know! I'm not a great philosopher or theologian. I'm just some chick who's been there and maybe you can relate? The only answer I can offer is in the Bible (cause let's face it those answers are usually the best ones):
"I want you to think about how all this makes you more significant, not less. A body isn't just a single part blown up into something huge. It's all the different-but-similar parts arranged and functioning together. If Foot said, "I'm not elegant like Hand, embellished with rings; I guess I don't belong to this body," would that make it so? If Ear said, "I'm not beautiful like Eye, limpid and expressive; I don't deserve a place on the head," would you want to remove it from the body? If the body was all eye, how could it hear? If all ear, how could it smell? As it is, we see that God has carefully placed each part of the body right where he wanted it. ^19-24But I also want you to think about how this keeps your significance from getting blown up into self-importance. For no matter how significant you are, it is only because of what you are a part of." 1 Corinthians 12:14-19 MSG

We are all important. Just realizing that we ALL matter helps. Sometimes we get consumed with feelings of self importance and this can set us up for even bigger hurts and sometimes we are consumed with feeling insignificant and the result is the same. Remembering that we are all not just A part but an IMPORTANT part of God's big picture can give us great security and strength when we feel hurt, neglected, or alone and it can give us perspective when we need it.

^"4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ⁸Love never fails. " 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV

We've all heard this a million times but it will always be relevant. This is how God defines love and this ought to be the standard for how we treat one another. At the end of the day we are all in this together. Loving each other with Christ-like love can be hard, but sometimes allowing ourselves to receive it can be even harder. I believe that the more we love each other, the greater our witness is. Let's all challenge ourselves to take the next step in love and let's do it together. It's when all of us journey together in love that we can do the greatest things for God's Kingdom.

What do you think? Am I being too harsh? Have you ever felt this way? How do you handle it?

Marketing Fail of the Day- I only wish I were kidding

2009-12-15T13:08:00.003-05:00

Okay when I saw this on Matthew Paul Turner's website, I thought it was a joke. I really thought it was totally faked, but no. These people are totally serious. All I can say is this doesn't look like keeping the 'Christ' in Christmas it looks more like putting a little Easter in Christmas. I'm going say it's definitely a movement... towards stupidity. Seriously, would you ever in your life have this in your house?

Marketing Fail of the Day

2009-12-14T10:47:00.000-05:00

(to be honest, I don't think Jesus would vote..... just sayin')

Marketing Fail of the Day

2009-12-13T16:00:00.000-05:00

(mmm... Venti Vanilla Nonfat Jesus)

So Beautiful- Lyrics

2009-12-13T15:57:00.004-05:00

I was worshiping and stumbled on to this song. It feels like a metaphor for my life or something. I really have no idea what it will end up sounding like. I was playing it in D, but from there it was all very random and organic, so for now I'll just post the lyrics without chords. If anyone has a thought, please share :)

Verse:
I was broken and lost in depravity
You found me, healed me, set me free
Ashamed, rejected, no where to call home
You kept me, held me, called me Your own

Chorus
So beautiful
So beautiful
So beautiful
Is the Savior's love for us

Verse:
Your greatness and power I can't even comprehend
And still you want me just as I am
You're Justice, Love, Peace, and Truth
Everyday you make me a little more like you

Bridge:
No matter how I fall, or how far I stray
You love still saves me, this Grace will never change

Ah, teaching the next generation......

2009-12-13T07:05:00.000-05:00

Why didn't I think about doing that with my kids?

Marketing WIN!!!!

2009-12-12T22:43:00.003-05:00

Maybe it's just the classic gamer in me, but 8-bit Jesus is the best thing I've ever seen!

Marketing Fail of the Day

2009-12-12T18:47:00.003-05:00

(Just in case your friends don't think you're lame enough already, here's a minty way to remind them.)

Marketing Fail of the Day

2009-12-11T10:00:00.002-05:00

(when I was in school I could have had my ass kicked just for reading something this cheesy, let alone actually going)

Marketing Fail of the Day

2009-12-10T08:49:00.000-05:00

(that's what we put on the sign when I lead worship)

Recent Creations :)

2009-12-09T22:30:00.010-05:00

These are some recent creations for the St Pete Vineyard. The first two are invite cards for our 'six-packs' The last one is a postcard designed for our December Series. Tell me what you think!

This was an original creation for SPV. Except the interior text which I borrowed from a previous creation.

(^Front^)

I originally made this design for NewDay Church in Indiana, but the St Pete Vineyard loved it so much that I recreated it for them :) (It's one of my personal favorites!)

This is the postcard :)

Marketing Fail of the Day

2009-12-09T10:00:00.000-05:00

(OMG Clipart from my old Windows 3.1 pc threw up all over this banner!)

Leftovers???

2009-12-08T17:18:00.005-05:00

Being in ministry you often hear people talk about how difficult it is to balance time in ministry and time with family. Ministry is a tough field. We work 40-50 hours per week in a battlefield and I've yet to meet a pastor who is paid what he's worth (at least not an honest one!) We come home tired to families, ready to give what we can. Many people refer to this as the 'leftovers'. I've heard it several times and I heard it again today. Why do we feel this way? Why is it that when we work hard for the Kingdom, we allow ourselves to feel guilty? Why do our spouses make us feel guilty?

Anne Jackson wrote recently on her blog that "When you say yes to something, that means you're saying no to something else." This is very true. When I say yes to spending time at church, I am essentially saying no spending that time with my family. My question is why is that always seen as a bad thing? If I say no to time at church, I am saying no to something much larger. I'm saying no to preparing to do my part in the body. I'm saying no to raising up the next generation. I'm saying no to my calling. I'm saying know to my church family.

Now, don't get me wrong; a healthy family is vital to a healthy pastor, but it shouldn't an either/or thing. Ministry requires a significant amount of time above and beyond what you're paid for (if your lucky enough to be in paid ministry) and that's just what it is. This is a reality that should be discussed with our families before we go into ministry or get married if you're already in ministry.

My husband is not in ministry, but he is very aware of what it demands. He knows that I will always work more than I'm paid for (if I'm being paid at all). He knows that Christmas Eve, Easter, Mother's Day and Father's Day are the highest visitors week in churches, and therefore I may be absent from home on those days. He knows that if there is an opportunity to expand God's Kingdom that my needs and his needs have to take a back seat. He also knows that I love him, I appreciate him, and I support him in what he does just as much as he supports me.

So I refuse to call what I have to give at the end of the day, "leftovers", because it's not. My working hard for God during the day doesn't mean I only have junk left to give my husband. Do I get tired, beaten, and grumpy- absolutely, but it's job to know how to work hard for God and be a good wife. When I struggle with it, I know God can show me how.

Being a good spouse is less about quantity and more about quality. If you feel like your giving your spouse 'leftovers', don't immediately think you shouldn't do so much at church. Try to look at the quality of the relationship. Here are a list of questions to help you determine why your involvement might be causing a problem(some of them seem silly, but they're true!):

1. Do you have at least one quality evening together a week?
2. Do you send each other romantic or even sexy little texts/emails/notes?
3. Do you tell your spouse how much you appreciate them at least once per week?
4. Do you kiss each other for at least 5 minutes everyday?
5. Do you have a healthy sex life?
6. Do you CLEARLY communicate where you are and when you'll be home
7. If you have kids: Do you try to give your spouse at least two hours a week without them?
8. Do you know that you have your spouse's support when you're away from home?
9. Do you demonstrate support for each other emotionally and practically?
10. Do you tell your spouse how attractive they are to you everyday?

If you answered 'no' to at least 3 of these, then I would say that it's not the amount of time you're involved, it's the strength of your relationship. Try doing each of these things, and try having a heartfelt discussion with your spouse. Usually the non-involved spouse is really just feeling shafted by your busyness or sometimes just insecure. Strengthening the relationship from the inside is what needs to happen. Cutting back the time you spend in ministry WILL NOT fix the problem, it will only put a band-aid on it. As someone who's been divorced- I know this first hand. If the problem is in the relationship, then address it with your spouse and address it with God.
-JUST MY OPINION

DISCLAIMER: This article does not apply to workaholics. If you work more than 50 hours per week on a regular basis, then please buy Anne Jackson's Book 'Mad Church Disease' and take a vacation!

Marketing Fail of the Day

2009-12-07T22:27:00.005-05:00

(damn those rebellious women... oh, wait a sec, they're talking about me....dang it!)

Peace- New Song :)

2009-12-06T15:56:00.007-05:00

Okay here's another song currently under construction. I know I keep saying that I will upload a recording and eventually I will :) Truth be told, I'm not a big fan of my own guitar playing (or singing for that matter) But someday I will make one of my very talented friends do a recording for me. For now I'll let you use your imagination :-P

Peace

Verse:
D Dsus
I come and I bow
D/F#m7 Asus
Here I find Your peace now (repeat)

Chorus:
Em7 G Em7 D/F#m7
Oh how You love me and oh, how you comfort me
Em7 G G/b Em7 Asus
Oh, how you you hold me. In Your hands I'm whole

Verse 2:
D Dsus
Here I am, all for You
D/F#m7 Asus
No chaos around me, only truth

Bridge:
(under construction)
Oh how I love you

Oh how I need you

Marketing Fail of the Day

2009-12-06T15:09:00.000-05:00

(thanks for confirming what the Atheists say about us, dude)

Doubt: Saboteur or Smoke Alarm?

2009-12-03T08:15:00.001-05:00

There is a fine line between self-doubt that seeks to hinder and coming to a realization that you simply are not meant to do something. What I am struggling to find is the line between the two. How do you know when it's time to lay aside uncertainty and push forward toward the goal or lay down what you want to do because it's just not something that God has for you? I only wish I knew the answer.........

I have always struggled with self-doubt. I really don't talk about it, but I am consistently filled with feelings that tell me I not good/pretty/talented/smart/liked enough to do this or that. Most of the time God really helps me overcome these things, so I can do the things He needs me to do, but the feelings exist nevertheless. Like I said, I don't really have many people that I talk about 'feelings' with but I know that there are probably many people who struggle with the same things. Right now I'm feeling like a certain thing (that I won't name) is something that I'm just not cut out to do. It's hard to distinguish between whether my doubt is just a lack of confidence on my part or something alarming me to the fact that I'm going the wrong way. Benjamin Franklin once said, "When in doubt, don't"

So, I remain stuck, I can either push past my feelings and risk disappointment or I can accept that I'm just not cut out for this and lay it down. Oh decisions, how I hate you, but at least I get to gripe on my blog :)

Marketing Fail of the Day

2009-12-03T07:49:00.000-05:00

(mmmm.... tasty Jesus)

Marketing Fail of the Day

2009-12-02T07:45:00.002-05:00

(and if you're like me it leads to an allergy attack as I'm allergic to dust)

Marketing Fail of the Day

2009-12-01T10:15:00.005-05:00

(Okay, apparently R2-D2 is the devil- Check out this website. It is an EPIC FAIL if I've ever seen one- http://www.ooze.com/toolofsatan/ )

Marketing Fail of the Day

2009-11-30T08:33:00.001-05:00

(Wow, how friendly........)

Marketing Fail of the Day

2009-11-29T08:35:00.000-05:00

(so, it's not THAT bad..... at least they're honest!)

Marketing Fail of the Day

2009-11-28T14:02:00.003-05:00

(Oh, hell yes... three words: sign me up!)

Marketing Fail of the Day

2009-11-27T11:30:00.000-05:00

(hmmmm..... I wonder where this church is located? Now here I thought that in Wisconsin Brett Farve was God)

Marketing Fail of the Day- Turkey Edition

2009-11-26T07:11:00.011-05:00

(OMG some clip art just exploded on this flier. Is this for a church or a 5th grade Thanksgiving Day Pageant? I really can't tell )

(Great verse but FOR THE LOVE OF GOD stop using this picture. It's soooooo over!)

(How come my thanksgiving food never glows as it pours out of a cornucopia? I think I hear some Gather band in the background.....)

Screw Thanksgiving.... here comes Christmas!

2009-11-25T15:09:00.004-05:00

Marketing Fail of the Day

2009-11-24T13:14:00.000-05:00

(I love Jesus, where's my freakin' easy button? Seriously, when do I get one?)

Marketing Fail of the Day- Slogan Edition

2009-11-23T08:58:00.004-05:00

The following is a list of Christian slogans/saying that need to die. If you I hear any Christians under the age of 65 say, think, or interject these into advertising, I swear I will slap them- You've been warned!

My commentary is in red :)

Can't sleep? Try counting your blessings. - or tylenol pm
Christians, keep the faith - but not from others! - okay that's just dumb sounding, really!
Don't wait for the hearse to take you to Church. - fear... that'll get 'em!
God answers knee-mail.- I bet a grandpa who doesn't own a computer made this up

It's hard to stumble when you're down on your knees.- that is actually true and helpful if your someone who frequently walks around on your knees
Prevent truth decay. Read your Bible.- I think I've seen this on every fundemental baptist church sign I've ever read.
Tithe if you love Jesus! Anyone can honk!- And just when we began to convince people that we are interested in them and not their money- thanks for setting the Church back several hundred years!

"What part of 'THOU SHALT NOT' don't you understand?" // "Have you read my #1 best seller? There's going to be a test." // "We need to talk" // "Let's meet at my house Sunday, before the game" // "C'mon over and bring the kids" // "Keep using my name in vain, I'll make rush hour longer" // "Loved the wedding, invite me to the marriage" // "You think it's hot here?" // "Don't make me come down there" - God
I just put all the God Speaks stuff together- seriously, just stop with this. It's over (waaaay over).

Don't put a question mark where God put a period.- yes question nothing, just do what we say and be mindless freaks

Be ye fishers of men. You catch 'em - He'll clean 'em.- You might be a redneck if......

Forbidden fruits create many jams.- I think my Grandma once told me this except I think she said they make the sweetest jams.

Want to make God laugh? Tell him your plans.- Yes, God is laughing at you, not with you

If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again.- So if I'm 'born again' I can be blonder, skinnier, and maybe even a dude? No thanks, I'll just accept the way God made me the first time around.

Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world.- So they have a good 401(k) or what?

Turn Life's Cares into Prayers.- said the needlepoint on the nursing home wall

Marketing Fail of the Day

2009-11-22T09:35:00.000-05:00

(Because having one first lady isn't enough....)

Marketing Fail of the Day

2009-11-21T09:38:00.000-05:00

(apparently all atheists are murders, so be careful)

Marketing Fail of the Day

2009-11-20T11:41:00.000-05:00

(I go to church on Sunday, so I must be in cahoots with the antichrist)