65 Days of Gratitude: DAY 2

I'm grateful for my kids' imaginations. I can give them paper, crayons, and glue and they never cease to amaze me with their creativity :)

65 days of Gratitude DAY 1

Today I am grateful for every second God lets me spend on earth. Each second is a precious gift to me from God and I don't want to waste any of them.

65 Days of Gratitude

Tonight we will have our Autumnal Equinox and for those of you who aren't giant geeks, that is what marks the official beginning of fall. I have always loved fall and not just because of all the yummy fall goodies and pretty fall colors. Really, I think I love it because it is such a special time of year. Everything draws to a close and we get to look back and see where we've come to. It's a time for warmth, for fun, a magical time for kids, and it always makes me feel thankful.

How many times a day do you stop and say thanks for something in your life? If you're like me; busy, overworked, tired, and well, just living a normal life; you probably don't do it enough. As I was driving and praying today I decided that it would be a good excersice to start my thanksgiving list now. It's 65 days from now until thanksgiving and I plan to write one thing I am truly grateful for everyday from now until then. I know it sounds easy, but I think it's really going to challenge me to appreciate some of the little blessings that get overlooked in the craziness of the everyday.

I invite you to make your own list and share with your friends and family!

Helping when it hurts

There's a great book called "When Helping Hurts". It's about how we, as christians, help people. To sumarize it poorly, it talks about how sometimes our wonderful intentions can end up creating dependancy and actually hurt the very people we seek to help in the long term. It's a good book to read if you're someone involved in missions- local or otherwise.

Recent events have really made me think about this concept but, not in terms of the needy we help. What about those that do the helping? There is a fine line between being generous and being taken advantage of. Sometimes the line dissappears altogether and those two qualities become intermingled and morph into something unhealthy. These things become even blurrier when we consider what the Bible says about giving. The Bible talks countless times about living generously and being willing to part with whatever we have.

I've always been the kind of girl that would give now and think later. I really can't help myself and it's a trait I've had forever. When I was a little girl if my friend didn't have a barbie, I'd give them my favorite one. If I saw an abandon bird, I'd sneak it into my room even if I knew it was surely not going to survive. As an adult I'm no different. If my friend needs money, I'll give them my last $5. If someone is without a home, I'll give them the run of mine. For whatever reason, I'd rather give a hungry person my last bowl of rice and starve than watch someone suffer from hunger. Now I know this all sounds very heroic, but I don't think it is. Really, I have never given any of this much thought until recently.

While I know this isn't a "bad" trait, life is teaching me that this can be a harmful trait especially when laced with over trust and innocence. Over the course of the last few years especially, I have allowed myself to be taken advantage of, cheated, deceived, and flat out mistreated all out of my own desire to help people. My husband has pointed out to me many times that I am a totally sucker, basically. I don't say no. I always trust people, even after they give me reason not to. And I am drawn to people and situations that suck me dry like a moth to the proverbial flame.

I like giving everything away, but I don't to like feel abused and abandon after I've given it all. I don't like where I am at today, feeling disenchanted and disconnected.

I know I'm sounding bitter, but I'm not or at least I don't want to be. I just wonder who helps the helpers? I can honestly say that I've rarely experienced times of need when someone has really helped me or my family in a tangible way. Of course, God ALWAYS comes through, but it's usually by something crazy miraculous.

Maybe I just need more people in my life who are like me and my hubby or maybe we just need to guard ourselves and look out for ourselves better. Maybe this is just part of sacrifice? I really REALLY don't know. I'd appreciate anyone's thoughts- please no cheesy, text book answers ;)

Bad blogger

I haven't been a very good blogger lately. I've really been busy with so many changes in life. New job, new pregnancy, and lots of interesting challenges. But I have been missing my little outlet. I don't often get to say exactly what I think, and so I really like having a place to write down all the randomness that passes through my brain and the few helpful tidbits I might have picked up along the way.

So, I've missed you sweet online outlet and I'm looking forward to our happy reunion :)

Beauty Vs. Sexuality- a female response

This is a response to this article from relevant : "Beauty vs. sexuality". Read it and this post will make more sense :)

This week Relevant Magazine's most popular online article is "Beauty vs. Sexuality". It's a great article outlining the the christian discussion surrounding beauty, lust, and our responsibilities.

As a woman in ministry the balance between modesty and the desire to look good is a constant battle. Often times I have felt shame and pressure over this issue and I'm sure many other women have too. The concept of modesty doesn't bother me but the definition of modesty is constantly changing based on who you're talking to. I like that the article points out that the strong focus on this shames both men and women. Being that ministry is largely male dominated, there is little thought given by most pastors on how these discussion affect the women they serve with.

An inside joke amongst me and my close friends is my scarf collection. I have a ridiculous amount of scarves. I love my collection but it didn't start out of an obscene love of scarves. It started out of shame and self-conscious. I wasn't raised in church, so I had no real concept of this discussion of modesty before I started leading worship many years ago. I just showed up in average girl clothes- ya know jeans, flowy shirts, tank tops (non spaghetti strap, of course), skirts, whatever. I gave very little thought to my clothing because for me, it just wasn't about that. It was about worship and I wanted to look like me. Not long into things, a male friend of mine in ministry sat me down and made a short but clear comment about the inappropriateness of a shirt I was wearing. I don't really remember the shirt but it wasn't anything crazy low cut or belly-bearing. I just stood there with my mouth gaping open, because I had no idea how to respond. This was a person I respected very much, so I politely nodded and went home to cry.

I didn't understand why it hurt me so much. I mean, it's just a shirt, right? Well, from that point on I began to examine my wardrobe very closely and I carefully mulled over what was acceptable for me to wear around the church. That's where the scarves started. How can I put this delicately.....hmmmm.... OK, I am not a small woman on top. I've really always been self conscious about it, but this incident really pushed me over the edge. It's difficult when a woman is "blessed" in that way to find shirts that fit properly, thus the scarf obsession. I learned that I could where almost anything, throw a scarf on and be good to go.

Over the years that level of worry and feeling like I'm responsible if a man lusts after me has mostly left because I began to realize the idiocy of the concept. (however, my massive scarf collection remains) As the article points out, we really are putting guys down by believing that they can't appreciate a woman's beauty without wanting to jump her bones. Furthermore, if we believe that only men are prone to lusting after the opposite sex, we are all kidding ourselves. Example: If you go to any youth retreat, the rules will typically dictate that appropriate swimwear for girls is a one-piece bathing suit. I have no problem with that rule, because. let's face it, teenage boys are, well teenage boys. The hypocrisy s that the boys can walk around in nothing more than shorts, because the concept is that girls are unaffected by that kind of visual stimulation. Well, as a former teenage girl, as a woman, and as someone who has had many discussions with women about lust, let me tell you that concept is crap. Women have to work just as hard to keep lustful thoughts away as the guys do. Maybe we are less prone to acting on them, but we fight the battle too.

So what's the answer? I would say grace and understanding. We all struggle with many things. It's part of living in a broken world. Lust is just one of those things and yet we bring it front and center like it's the cause of all our problems. The solution to lust, like many solutions to our sin issues, begins with us. Before we go pointing fingers or placing blame on one gender or another, we should do some careful self-examination. The more we allow God to work on our hearts, the less our hearts are prone to wander.

Why it matters: Graphics and logos

I would wear this... if I lost a bet

I am blessed to get to interact with and design for a wide variety of churches on a regular basis. When it comes to graphics, I can pretty divide them into two categories: Churches who know what's hot and what people relate to and churches who knew what was hot 10 years ago and think people still relate to it. The earlier group is a breeze to work for; they're hip, they know what they want, and they don't mind being adventurous. The latter group however, is always very challenging. There is usually a lot of resistance and these are the reasons I've found:

1. Entrenchment: There is usually and individual or group that has 'always' done the graphics and they are usually a sweet, well-meaning person with good skills but zero creativity. If that person is blissfully stuck in 1995 serif fonts with embossing and drop shadows, it can be very hard to move forward visually because nobody wants to risk offending somebody that's been there serving for a long time.

2. Change is Scary: Nobody realizes how much changing their logo(s) scares them until the process starts moving. Suddenly they have to deal with people asking why; signs have to be redone; other logos and graphics have to be upgraded for continuity, and in general, people resist change because we crave sameness even when it leads to lameness.

3. That looks like "Youth Group" stuff: NEWS FLASH- we are a youth driven culture. If you look at fashion, music, movies, it all is geared towards youth culture because for he first time in history middle-aged folks take cues for what is cool from people under 30. If you appeal to that crown visually, than you automatically will appeal to most people under 65 as well. If you really want a shakedown on the visual appeal of your church; ask a blunt 23 year old.

OK, so why doesn't any of this matter to you church? Well, what are here to do? Reach people for Christ- right? The idea behind having any graphics, video, lighting, drama, etc is to create a relevant and relatable environment for people to come learn about Jesus so they can become full, devoted followers. Of course all of this is just a minor precursor to the Gospel, but my argument is that if you're going to do it- do it well! Do it with excellence! Don't make graphics that appeal only to you but that will appeal to the culture to be inviting and comfortable for people who don't know Christ.

Don't underestimate the power of good graphics in your church. Find a good, visual, creative person- don't just settle. I promise you it makes a huge difference!

It's the difference between this:

AND WHAT EVER THIS STUFF IS:

I lack the words to describe how antiquated these logos are









I know I seem picky and critical and it's true that many people don't even notice these things but
most of the younger demographic does, especially if what your using is lame or overly churchy. So just try and look at your own church's graphics from a fresh perspective- ask people. Don't allow things like this to become sacred cows. Change can be a great thing if it's done intentionally and for good reason!

:)

Church Music Fail

He says this has made him famous..... what he doesn't understand is that he's famous for all the wrong reasons. Sadly, this is not the worst church singer I've ever heard. Even Jesus is shaking his head and giving him a "bless your heart"

(thanks Chris Cahall for the heads up)

Ouch!

For reasons I cannot explain, every year, January kinda sucks for me. I get all fired up for the start of a new year, get my list of things I want to change, and BOOM! By January 10th, I'm wishing I had a time travel device so I could go back to a more hopeful, simpler time before all the New Year's crappola began.

2012 has been no exception to my New Year's Curse. The year started off with my mom breaking her hip at my house while I was away in Atlanta. Then all kinds of ministry changes and movement without a lot of explanation, and then my car breaks down- all of this before January 8th! So I'm sitting around my house this week feeling pretty blue and fearful of what else is gonna happen, and the Holy Spirit brings me a vision of soil in a field that has been freshly tilled. Now, I don't know a lot about farming........ actually, I don't really know anything about farming! However, I do remember how farms looked in Indiana (where I once lived) right before they were getting ready to plant things. They were muddy, overgrown with weeds, and just plain inhabitable. Every year, they would have to be tilled before farmers cold grow anything. Being that I'm not a farmer, I found it interesting that God would bring me such an image but the more I think about the more it makes sense.

Maybe January is the time of year when God has to prep me so he can plant things and they can take root. Why? Heck, I don't know!

He digs deep to remove all the hurts and baggage of the year before so he can cultivate something new. It feels painful and makes me feel dry and barren but it's really good for me in the end.

So, today I feel hopeful and welcoming of this time refurbishment. I look barren on the outside but it's just because I'm waiting for God to plant something new in me!

So I encourage you not to run away from God in those times when you feel turned inside-out, but run to Him and be encouraged that he won't abandon you. Trust him that he always has a plan to bring blessings and good things to your life!

"If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there;
   if you're kicked in the gut, he'll help you catch your breath."

Psalm 34:18 MSG

I'm Sorry, Did I Offend You?

Very recently I made the choice to start a blog (which you are reading!) I didn't know if anyone would ever read it, but it sounded like a fun way to pass the time. Shortly after I started, I began my 'Marketing Fails of the Day' which are geared to improve the quality and relevancy of Church media. The blog's popularity began to rise rapidly as did my understanding of humanity. I have been blessed to receive a lot of feedback over these pieces, some good, some bad, and some very, very ugly. This last week as I was being chastised for my colorful, yet generationally appropriate language, I began to wonder.....

Why are we (Christians) so very sensitive? I mean seemingly so much more sensitive than the rest of the world?