Beauty Vs. Sexuality- a female response

This is a response to this article from relevant : "Beauty vs. sexuality". Read it and this post will make more sense :)

This week Relevant Magazine's most popular online article is "Beauty vs. Sexuality". It's a great article outlining the the christian discussion surrounding beauty, lust, and our responsibilities.

As a woman in ministry the balance between modesty and the desire to look good is a constant battle. Often times I have felt shame and pressure over this issue and I'm sure many other women have too. The concept of modesty doesn't bother me but the definition of modesty is constantly changing based on who you're talking to. I like that the article points out that the strong focus on this shames both men and women. Being that ministry is largely male dominated, there is little thought given by most pastors on how these discussion affect the women they serve with.

An inside joke amongst me and my close friends is my scarf collection. I have a ridiculous amount of scarves. I love my collection but it didn't start out of an obscene love of scarves. It started out of shame and self-conscious. I wasn't raised in church, so I had no real concept of this discussion of modesty before I started leading worship many years ago. I just showed up in average girl clothes- ya know jeans, flowy shirts, tank tops (non spaghetti strap, of course), skirts, whatever. I gave very little thought to my clothing because for me, it just wasn't about that. It was about worship and I wanted to look like me. Not long into things, a male friend of mine in ministry sat me down and made a short but clear comment about the inappropriateness of a shirt I was wearing. I don't really remember the shirt but it wasn't anything crazy low cut or belly-bearing. I just stood there with my mouth gaping open, because I had no idea how to respond. This was a person I respected very much, so I politely nodded and went home to cry.

I didn't understand why it hurt me so much. I mean, it's just a shirt, right? Well, from that point on I began to examine my wardrobe very closely and I carefully mulled over what was acceptable for me to wear around the church. That's where the scarves started. How can I put this delicately.....hmmmm.... OK, I am not a small woman on top. I've really always been self conscious about it, but this incident really pushed me over the edge. It's difficult when a woman is "blessed" in that way to find shirts that fit properly, thus the scarf obsession. I learned that I could where almost anything, throw a scarf on and be good to go.

Over the years that level of worry and feeling like I'm responsible if a man lusts after me has mostly left because I began to realize the idiocy of the concept. (however, my massive scarf collection remains) As the article points out, we really are putting guys down by believing that they can't appreciate a woman's beauty without wanting to jump her bones. Furthermore, if we believe that only men are prone to lusting after the opposite sex, we are all kidding ourselves. Example: If you go to any youth retreat, the rules will typically dictate that appropriate swimwear for girls is a one-piece bathing suit. I have no problem with that rule, because. let's face it, teenage boys are, well teenage boys. The hypocrisy s that the boys can walk around in nothing more than shorts, because the concept is that girls are unaffected by that kind of visual stimulation. Well, as a former teenage girl, as a woman, and as someone who has had many discussions with women about lust, let me tell you that concept is crap. Women have to work just as hard to keep lustful thoughts away as the guys do. Maybe we are less prone to acting on them, but we fight the battle too.

So what's the answer? I would say grace and understanding. We all struggle with many things. It's part of living in a broken world. Lust is just one of those things and yet we bring it front and center like it's the cause of all our problems. The solution to lust, like many solutions to our sin issues, begins with us. Before we go pointing fingers or placing blame on one gender or another, we should do some careful self-examination. The more we allow God to work on our hearts, the less our hearts are prone to wander.

Why it matters: Graphics and logos

I would wear this... if I lost a bet

I am blessed to get to interact with and design for a wide variety of churches on a regular basis. When it comes to graphics, I can pretty divide them into two categories: Churches who know what's hot and what people relate to and churches who knew what was hot 10 years ago and think people still relate to it. The earlier group is a breeze to work for; they're hip, they know what they want, and they don't mind being adventurous. The latter group however, is always very challenging. There is usually a lot of resistance and these are the reasons I've found:

1. Entrenchment: There is usually and individual or group that has 'always' done the graphics and they are usually a sweet, well-meaning person with good skills but zero creativity. If that person is blissfully stuck in 1995 serif fonts with embossing and drop shadows, it can be very hard to move forward visually because nobody wants to risk offending somebody that's been there serving for a long time.

2. Change is Scary: Nobody realizes how much changing their logo(s) scares them until the process starts moving. Suddenly they have to deal with people asking why; signs have to be redone; other logos and graphics have to be upgraded for continuity, and in general, people resist change because we crave sameness even when it leads to lameness.

3. That looks like "Youth Group" stuff: NEWS FLASH- we are a youth driven culture. If you look at fashion, music, movies, it all is geared towards youth culture because for he first time in history middle-aged folks take cues for what is cool from people under 30. If you appeal to that crown visually, than you automatically will appeal to most people under 65 as well. If you really want a shakedown on the visual appeal of your church; ask a blunt 23 year old.

OK, so why doesn't any of this matter to you church? Well, what are here to do? Reach people for Christ- right? The idea behind having any graphics, video, lighting, drama, etc is to create a relevant and relatable environment for people to come learn about Jesus so they can become full, devoted followers. Of course all of this is just a minor precursor to the Gospel, but my argument is that if you're going to do it- do it well! Do it with excellence! Don't make graphics that appeal only to you but that will appeal to the culture to be inviting and comfortable for people who don't know Christ.

Don't underestimate the power of good graphics in your church. Find a good, visual, creative person- don't just settle. I promise you it makes a huge difference!

It's the difference between this:

AND WHAT EVER THIS STUFF IS:

I lack the words to describe how antiquated these logos are









I know I seem picky and critical and it's true that many people don't even notice these things but
most of the younger demographic does, especially if what your using is lame or overly churchy. So just try and look at your own church's graphics from a fresh perspective- ask people. Don't allow things like this to become sacred cows. Change can be a great thing if it's done intentionally and for good reason!

:)

Ouch!

For reasons I cannot explain, every year, January kinda sucks for me. I get all fired up for the start of a new year, get my list of things I want to change, and BOOM! By January 10th, I'm wishing I had a time travel device so I could go back to a more hopeful, simpler time before all the New Year's crappola began.

2012 has been no exception to my New Year's Curse. The year started off with my mom breaking her hip at my house while I was away in Atlanta. Then all kinds of ministry changes and movement without a lot of explanation, and then my car breaks down- all of this before January 8th! So I'm sitting around my house this week feeling pretty blue and fearful of what else is gonna happen, and the Holy Spirit brings me a vision of soil in a field that has been freshly tilled. Now, I don't know a lot about farming........ actually, I don't really know anything about farming! However, I do remember how farms looked in Indiana (where I once lived) right before they were getting ready to plant things. They were muddy, overgrown with weeds, and just plain inhabitable. Every year, they would have to be tilled before farmers cold grow anything. Being that I'm not a farmer, I found it interesting that God would bring me such an image but the more I think about the more it makes sense.

Maybe January is the time of year when God has to prep me so he can plant things and they can take root. Why? Heck, I don't know!

He digs deep to remove all the hurts and baggage of the year before so he can cultivate something new. It feels painful and makes me feel dry and barren but it's really good for me in the end.

So, today I feel hopeful and welcoming of this time refurbishment. I look barren on the outside but it's just because I'm waiting for God to plant something new in me!

So I encourage you not to run away from God in those times when you feel turned inside-out, but run to Him and be encouraged that he won't abandon you. Trust him that he always has a plan to bring blessings and good things to your life!

"If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there;
   if you're kicked in the gut, he'll help you catch your breath."

Psalm 34:18 MSG

I'm Sorry, Did I Offend You?

Very recently I made the choice to start a blog (which you are reading!) I didn't know if anyone would ever read it, but it sounded like a fun way to pass the time. Shortly after I started, I began my 'Marketing Fails of the Day' which are geared to improve the quality and relevancy of Church media. The blog's popularity began to rise rapidly as did my understanding of humanity. I have been blessed to receive a lot of feedback over these pieces, some good, some bad, and some very, very ugly. This last week as I was being chastised for my colorful, yet generationally appropriate language, I began to wonder.....

Why are we (Christians) so very sensitive? I mean seemingly so much more sensitive than the rest of the world?

Emily's long overdue, all-inclusive list of church resources (mostly FREE!)

         I am forever getting emails asking me for my resources on art and media. Mostly it's churches and people I know that work for churches. After a couple of years of doing this, I thought to myself "Duh, do a post about".
         So, here it is. Emily's long overdue, all-inclusive list of resources. I created/recycled a TON of media over the years and 80% of it started with these amazing sites.

Got me feeling so fly like Jesus

Bwahahahaha- I think this spoof is hilarious! If you've never heard "Like a G6" this might not make as much sense to you, but if you have, you'll like it too- promise :)

Win!

Normally I call these fails but a "Ninja-Messiah throwing nails of death" is PURE WIN!

Saw this on Jesus Needs New PR

Marketing Fail?

Somehow I think more people are going to read the billboard that has the word "Boobie" on it....... Either way I find the Bible-belted brand of piping hot guilt served up KJV style to be pretty funny!

Marketing Fail of the Day

(This is in my purse right next to my Miracle Healing Water)

Marketing Fail of The Day

Is it me or does he look like Neo from the matrix's dad? You'd better come to the chapel or he will beat you down and drag your a** in there!

Marketing Fail of The Day

 

The fact of the matter is that I kinda wanna kick these people in the head....... in love of course 8-)

Attention Deficit Disaster? Part 2- The Edison Trait

Did you know that by age six Thomas Edison managed to burn down the family barn? During his early years, he suffered illness and hearing loss, but even so he was a talkative child who used to annoy adults with his constant questions. Despite his high I.Q., one teacher called him "addled," which meant "confused or stupid." He attended three different schools between the ages of seven to nine,  and none of his teachers had the patience to deal with his apparent inability to sit still, his lack of focus on the matter at hand, and his talkativeness. After his mother was told he was "unteachable" she decided to home school him. She let him learn freely and even set up experiments in the basement. Her husband thought he was dull but she believed he was special and continued teaching him.

Attention Deficit Disaster?

You know how it is: You're in a meeting or having coffee with a friends and you start talking about one thing and before you know it your conversation ends up in another world completely and you have no idea how. Then you laugh and say "Wait what were talking about? We are so ADD!" My friends and I joke about this all the time. The only kicker is that I actually do have ADD.

Most of my friends don't know that about me. When I say it they assume it's a joke, because I don't really match up to what people think ADD looks like. Most people think of hyper, sugared-up children who can't sit still, but the truth is that most people with ADD/ADHD don't look like that at all. As a matter of fact I would argue that it's not really a disorder at all. Most of the truly troubled children who exhibit ADD/ADHD are actually suffering from other behavioral disorders and/or learning challenges.

Need Jammies?

OMG. Protect your children and get them beat up all in one shot!

Humanity at my door

Today I heard a knock at my front door. I opened it to find this guy who was pretty rough. He was older, didn't speak well, and looked like he hadn't seen a shower in a while. He proceeded to tell me that he has mental problems and he has no money, etc. In my usual business I just kind of stared at him with my "OK, get to the point" face (I was pretty sure he was going to ask me for money). He then said "I don't want any money, but can you feed me something?"
My heart just sank and I nearly started to crying, because I realized that even though I'm a pretty compassionate person,

Oh S***! It's Jesus!

I saw this book on MPT's blog. I have to say that much like the rest of my generation, I'm pretty jaded when it comes to language. However, this took me back. At first, I thought it was a spoof or something(which somehow made it seem ok), but no, it's a real, Christian book. You can find it here on Amazon.

So far it has pretty good reviews so I kinda want to read it to see if it lives up to it's initial shock value. Not to mention it seems like a great thought at least from the initial description.

So what's your reaction? Does it bother you or kinda make you like it more?

BTW don't send me hate mail- it's not my book!

Benny Hinn + Star Wars = EPIC!

Benny just went from way lame to wicked awesome in my book!

(I know I posted this on FB recently but it's so freaking awesome I had to give it it's own place in blogging immortality. Thanks Joe Wisterman!)

Marketing Fail!

Ummmmm.................. yeah.

How to Not Fail at Church Marketing 102

Over the next few weeks and months, I would like to explore why it is that churches and Christian organizations struggle so much in the areas of marketing and cultural relevance. I know the reason vary a lot, so I'll just cover a few. To start with let's examine the pitfall of PERCEPTION.

If you chat with people who are responsible for a marketing fail, you will find they have no idea. They don't think it's irrelevant or poorly designed, and they can't see why I think that way. I have to admit at first I thought these people were just complete morons, but now I realize that is not the case. The problem is perception.

These people either have no idea who their audience is and/or they have no idea what is appealing to them. The worst is those who fail to realize that there is an audience outside the 'Christian Bubble' and those are the people who need to be appealed to the most. How can you avoid this pitfall?

How to Not Fail at Church Marketing 101

For months now I have been posting the numerous marketing failure that exist in this world of Church Media. People think it's funny, and yeah, it can be. However, it really is an issue to take note of. As the culture we live in becomes more visual and people become more technological, this gap continues to widen. It makes the Church appear less and less relevant when really we should be on the bleeding edge of our culture. We shouldn't copy TV shows, corporate logos, or MTV. As Christian author and screenwriter, Craig Detweiler so aptly explained in an interview with ABC News:

"If you are truly connected to the creator of the universe you should be the most creative and risk-taking people on the planet," he said. "You would be coming up with new ideas and new visions all the time. That's our heritage and hopefully we'll get back to it. "For hundreds of years, Christians were the patrons of the arts," he added. "You have the renaissance that resulted. ... You had Michelangelo and Leonardo DaVinci paid by the church to make masterpieces. And now we we're reduced to pale imitation of the worst elements of pop culture. I rather have us lead a renaissance in the arts instead of imitate those who have gone before us."