Beauty Vs. Sexuality- a female response

This is a response to this article from relevant : "Beauty vs. sexuality". Read it and this post will make more sense :)

This week Relevant Magazine's most popular online article is "Beauty vs. Sexuality". It's a great article outlining the the christian discussion surrounding beauty, lust, and our responsibilities.

As a woman in ministry the balance between modesty and the desire to look good is a constant battle. Often times I have felt shame and pressure over this issue and I'm sure many other women have too. The concept of modesty doesn't bother me but the definition of modesty is constantly changing based on who you're talking to. I like that the article points out that the strong focus on this shames both men and women. Being that ministry is largely male dominated, there is little thought given by most pastors on how these discussion affect the women they serve with.

An inside joke amongst me and my close friends is my scarf collection. I have a ridiculous amount of scarves. I love my collection but it didn't start out of an obscene love of scarves. It started out of shame and self-conscious. I wasn't raised in church, so I had no real concept of this discussion of modesty before I started leading worship many years ago. I just showed up in average girl clothes- ya know jeans, flowy shirts, tank tops (non spaghetti strap, of course), skirts, whatever. I gave very little thought to my clothing because for me, it just wasn't about that. It was about worship and I wanted to look like me. Not long into things, a male friend of mine in ministry sat me down and made a short but clear comment about the inappropriateness of a shirt I was wearing. I don't really remember the shirt but it wasn't anything crazy low cut or belly-bearing. I just stood there with my mouth gaping open, because I had no idea how to respond. This was a person I respected very much, so I politely nodded and went home to cry.

I didn't understand why it hurt me so much. I mean, it's just a shirt, right? Well, from that point on I began to examine my wardrobe very closely and I carefully mulled over what was acceptable for me to wear around the church. That's where the scarves started. How can I put this delicately.....hmmmm.... OK, I am not a small woman on top. I've really always been self conscious about it, but this incident really pushed me over the edge. It's difficult when a woman is "blessed" in that way to find shirts that fit properly, thus the scarf obsession. I learned that I could where almost anything, throw a scarf on and be good to go.

Over the years that level of worry and feeling like I'm responsible if a man lusts after me has mostly left because I began to realize the idiocy of the concept. (however, my massive scarf collection remains) As the article points out, we really are putting guys down by believing that they can't appreciate a woman's beauty without wanting to jump her bones. Furthermore, if we believe that only men are prone to lusting after the opposite sex, we are all kidding ourselves. Example: If you go to any youth retreat, the rules will typically dictate that appropriate swimwear for girls is a one-piece bathing suit. I have no problem with that rule, because. let's face it, teenage boys are, well teenage boys. The hypocrisy s that the boys can walk around in nothing more than shorts, because the concept is that girls are unaffected by that kind of visual stimulation. Well, as a former teenage girl, as a woman, and as someone who has had many discussions with women about lust, let me tell you that concept is crap. Women have to work just as hard to keep lustful thoughts away as the guys do. Maybe we are less prone to acting on them, but we fight the battle too.

So what's the answer? I would say grace and understanding. We all struggle with many things. It's part of living in a broken world. Lust is just one of those things and yet we bring it front and center like it's the cause of all our problems. The solution to lust, like many solutions to our sin issues, begins with us. Before we go pointing fingers or placing blame on one gender or another, we should do some careful self-examination. The more we allow God to work on our hearts, the less our hearts are prone to wander.

Why it matters: Graphics and logos

I would wear this... if I lost a bet

I am blessed to get to interact with and design for a wide variety of churches on a regular basis. When it comes to graphics, I can pretty divide them into two categories: Churches who know what's hot and what people relate to and churches who knew what was hot 10 years ago and think people still relate to it. The earlier group is a breeze to work for; they're hip, they know what they want, and they don't mind being adventurous. The latter group however, is always very challenging. There is usually a lot of resistance and these are the reasons I've found:

1. Entrenchment: There is usually and individual or group that has 'always' done the graphics and they are usually a sweet, well-meaning person with good skills but zero creativity. If that person is blissfully stuck in 1995 serif fonts with embossing and drop shadows, it can be very hard to move forward visually because nobody wants to risk offending somebody that's been there serving for a long time.

2. Change is Scary: Nobody realizes how much changing their logo(s) scares them until the process starts moving. Suddenly they have to deal with people asking why; signs have to be redone; other logos and graphics have to be upgraded for continuity, and in general, people resist change because we crave sameness even when it leads to lameness.

3. That looks like "Youth Group" stuff: NEWS FLASH- we are a youth driven culture. If you look at fashion, music, movies, it all is geared towards youth culture because for he first time in history middle-aged folks take cues for what is cool from people under 30. If you appeal to that crown visually, than you automatically will appeal to most people under 65 as well. If you really want a shakedown on the visual appeal of your church; ask a blunt 23 year old.

OK, so why doesn't any of this matter to you church? Well, what are here to do? Reach people for Christ- right? The idea behind having any graphics, video, lighting, drama, etc is to create a relevant and relatable environment for people to come learn about Jesus so they can become full, devoted followers. Of course all of this is just a minor precursor to the Gospel, but my argument is that if you're going to do it- do it well! Do it with excellence! Don't make graphics that appeal only to you but that will appeal to the culture to be inviting and comfortable for people who don't know Christ.

Don't underestimate the power of good graphics in your church. Find a good, visual, creative person- don't just settle. I promise you it makes a huge difference!

It's the difference between this:

AND WHAT EVER THIS STUFF IS:

I lack the words to describe how antiquated these logos are









I know I seem picky and critical and it's true that many people don't even notice these things but
most of the younger demographic does, especially if what your using is lame or overly churchy. So just try and look at your own church's graphics from a fresh perspective- ask people. Don't allow things like this to become sacred cows. Change can be a great thing if it's done intentionally and for good reason!

:)

Church Music Fail

He says this has made him famous..... what he doesn't understand is that he's famous for all the wrong reasons. Sadly, this is not the worst church singer I've ever heard. Even Jesus is shaking his head and giving him a "bless your heart"

(thanks Chris Cahall for the heads up)

Ouch!

For reasons I cannot explain, every year, January kinda sucks for me. I get all fired up for the start of a new year, get my list of things I want to change, and BOOM! By January 10th, I'm wishing I had a time travel device so I could go back to a more hopeful, simpler time before all the New Year's crappola began.

2012 has been no exception to my New Year's Curse. The year started off with my mom breaking her hip at my house while I was away in Atlanta. Then all kinds of ministry changes and movement without a lot of explanation, and then my car breaks down- all of this before January 8th! So I'm sitting around my house this week feeling pretty blue and fearful of what else is gonna happen, and the Holy Spirit brings me a vision of soil in a field that has been freshly tilled. Now, I don't know a lot about farming........ actually, I don't really know anything about farming! However, I do remember how farms looked in Indiana (where I once lived) right before they were getting ready to plant things. They were muddy, overgrown with weeds, and just plain inhabitable. Every year, they would have to be tilled before farmers cold grow anything. Being that I'm not a farmer, I found it interesting that God would bring me such an image but the more I think about the more it makes sense.

Maybe January is the time of year when God has to prep me so he can plant things and they can take root. Why? Heck, I don't know!

He digs deep to remove all the hurts and baggage of the year before so he can cultivate something new. It feels painful and makes me feel dry and barren but it's really good for me in the end.

So, today I feel hopeful and welcoming of this time refurbishment. I look barren on the outside but it's just because I'm waiting for God to plant something new in me!

So I encourage you not to run away from God in those times when you feel turned inside-out, but run to Him and be encouraged that he won't abandon you. Trust him that he always has a plan to bring blessings and good things to your life!

"If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there;
   if you're kicked in the gut, he'll help you catch your breath."

Psalm 34:18 MSG

I'm Sorry, Did I Offend You?

Very recently I made the choice to start a blog (which you are reading!) I didn't know if anyone would ever read it, but it sounded like a fun way to pass the time. Shortly after I started, I began my 'Marketing Fails of the Day' which are geared to improve the quality and relevancy of Church media. The blog's popularity began to rise rapidly as did my understanding of humanity. I have been blessed to receive a lot of feedback over these pieces, some good, some bad, and some very, very ugly. This last week as I was being chastised for my colorful, yet generationally appropriate language, I began to wonder.....

Why are we (Christians) so very sensitive? I mean seemingly so much more sensitive than the rest of the world?

Emily's long overdue, all-inclusive list of church resources (mostly FREE!)

         I am forever getting emails asking me for my resources on art and media. Mostly it's churches and people I know that work for churches. After a couple of years of doing this, I thought to myself "Duh, do a post about".
         So, here it is. Emily's long overdue, all-inclusive list of resources. I created/recycled a TON of media over the years and 80% of it started with these amazing sites.

Take It All

Well these last few months have been crazy to say the least. Year after year I'm learning that the only thing I can depend on is God and as soon as I begin to depend on anything else, He has no problem turning my world on end to remind me of that.

Yes, life has been very hard over the last few months but this blog isn't to drone on about what's been going wrong- it's to celebrate what has come out of it all. Years ago I was listening to someone read a little devotional book. To this day I don't remember which one but I do remember what he said.

Adventures in Kid's Ministry!

If someone had told me a year ago that I'd be responsible for running a children's ministry I probably would've laughed and not given a second thought. Yet, here I am working at an awesome church doing just that. 

For those of you who know me personally, this probably came as an odd pairing. Of course, I love kids but I've never thought of myself as being one of those "Ms. Lippy" (ya know from Billy Madison) types who could handle masses of children with ease. So I stuck to the areas I knew; music, production, media, etc.

However, the opportunity came along to do this and against all reason, I felt that God definitely wanted me to do it so I did, and I'm so glad I did.

Here's what I've learned (so far):

Scientologists Stand Tall- LOL!

I always thought us Christians had the monopoly on cheesy 80's music videos promoting our faith but apparently I was wrong!

JUMP! VBS 2011 Part 1!

Sorry I haven't posted in several days! Here's what's been keeping me busy :)

More to come!

Win!

Normally I call these fails but a "Ninja-Messiah throwing nails of death" is PURE WIN!

Saw this on Jesus Needs New PR

This is the air I breathe......

This weekend I was very blessed to be invited to a worship conference in Lakeland. At the conference I got to hear John and Marie Barnett. For those of you who don't know they are the people who brought us the song "Breathe" which is one of the best worship songs ever.

Anyhow, while I sang along to Breathe with Marie (who has a crazy awesome voice!) it took me back some years. You see Breathe was the first song I ever really led. In many ways it was a catalyst that got me where I am. I was taken back to that night almost 10 years ago. I was on stage with my guitar that I'd only been playing for a few months, scared to death, and feeling like I was flunking out with dozens of eyes staring at me. Then the keys came in, I shut my eyes, and suddenly 'I' didn't matter anymore.

"This is the air I breathe. This is the air I breathe" I began to sing timidly. I remember hearing my voice in the monitor and it's like it wasn't even the same voice I'd always sang with. It was something powerful, because God had moved. I was taken out and somehow God was put in. To this day I can't fully explain the situation. Some might say it was just the rush of being on stage and such but I know it was so much more than that. It was in that moment I knew that worship would be a huge part of my life. God deposited something in my heart that day and I'm still discovering parts of it all the time.

So, what's the point of my story? Well, hearing Marie sing that song made me remember the very first moment I entered in to true worship and it made me hungry for more. It made me want to feel like that 18 year old girl who knew nothing about, well, anything. I only knew that I wanted Jesus.

Do you remember that moment? Sit and ask God to take you back there this week.

Marketing Fail?

Somehow I think more people are going to read the billboard that has the word "Boobie" on it....... Either way I find the Bible-belted brand of piping hot guilt served up KJV style to be pretty funny!

Marketing Fail of the Day

(This is in my purse right next to my Miracle Healing Water)

The Devil's in the Phone Booth..... wait is that Betty White?

Betty White and crew singing about the devil being in the phone booth.... perhaps this is why phone booths are now scarce?

Marketing Fail of The Day

Is it me or does he look like Neo from the matrix's dad? You'd better come to the chapel or he will beat you down and drag your a** in there!

Marketing Fail of The Day

 

The fact of the matter is that I kinda wanna kick these people in the head....... in love of course 8-)

Love Never Fails

"Love Never Fails"- I love that phrase. I love saying it. I love singing it. Most of all I love the implications of it. For those who don't know the phrase originates from 1 Corinthians 13- also known as the love chapter. The most well know portion is in verses 4-8:
⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  ⁸ Love never fails. 

You've probably heard parts of it read at weddings or etched on to photo frames. Most people associate it with the way love should look in a marriage. All of that is well and good but it goes way beyond that.

Need Jammies?

OMG. Protect your children and get them beat up all in one shot!

Humanity at my door

Today I heard a knock at my front door. I opened it to find this guy who was pretty rough. He was older, didn't speak well, and looked like he hadn't seen a shower in a while. He proceeded to tell me that he has mental problems and he has no money, etc. In my usual business I just kind of stared at him with my "OK, get to the point" face (I was pretty sure he was going to ask me for money). He then said "I don't want any money, but can you feed me something?"
My heart just sank and I nearly started to crying, because I realized that even though I'm a pretty compassionate person,