Very recently I made the choice to start a blog (which you are reading!) I didn't know if anyone would ever read it, but it sounded like a fun way to pass the time. Shortly after I started, I began my 'Marketing Fails of the Day' which are geared to improve the quality and relevancy of Church media. The blog's popularity began to rise rapidly as did my understanding of humanity. I have been blessed to receive a lot of feedback over these pieces, some good, some bad, and some very, very ugly. This last week as I was being chastised for my colorful, yet generationally appropriate language, I began to wonder.....Why are we (Christians) so very sensitive? I mean seemingly so much more sensitive than the rest of the world?
I'm not going to pretend like I know the answer to that, but here are a few things that I have observed:
1. We are offended too easily. I say 'we' because I am just as guilty of this as the next person. So often if someone is critical of something that we like, we think they are being critical of us. That is not always the case. If someone says something adverse to our own thoughts and beliefs, does it really solve anything to immediately move to the offensive? I'm going to say, no.
2. We are offended by the wrong things. Matthew Paul Turner recently wrote an open letter to John Piper on his blog and the response was enormous from all sides. There were people applauding Matt for calling Piper out and then there were many people who were just irrationally upset by the fact he was calling out a pastor on his blog. Many of them questioned his faith in Christ and even told him to go to Hell. Matt really summed it up when he later said, "I've been able to make more jokes about "Jesus" (or people's idea of "Jesus") than I was about John Piper." We care so much about the wrong things.
3. We react immaturely when we are offended. When someone offends you, what is the first thing you do? Do you immediately shut them out? Do you yell and argue? Do you feel sorry for them because they are so wrong and you are so right? Do you smile politely while thinking about setting them on fire? Don't lie, all of us can say we're guilty of at least one, if not more, of these things.
Let's think about the Bible here for a moment: Think about when Jesus was here. Did He get offended every time someone ruffled his feathers? No, he didn't. You know who was constantly offended? The Pharisees.(just sayin') Jesus chose to spend most of His time loving on the people that offended so many others. He spent His time focusing on the Kingdom, and that was all He did. Now Jesus did get pretty pissed off once. I'm sure you recall the story when He went to the temple and people had basically turned it into a marketplace, instead of a place to worship. That's the only time to my knowledge that Jesus seemed truly appalled by something. He was more upset about that, then when people were nailing Him to the Cross. Once again, just sayin'.
All of us come from different backgrounds, we're raised in different places, and we have different ideas about what is acceptable and what is not. However, the only standard we should be holding each other by is Christ's standard, and even then, we should tread carefully, because reality is 90% perception. As one of my Tweeps, @jeffholton said to me, "I consider myself a conservative, basically. But I don't pretend that conservatism speaks for the Church." Jeff realizes something very important; the Church is diverse and it's diverse for a reason. Your view only represent a small percent of the overall body. Furthermore, all views, black, white, and gray are equally important to furthering the Kingdom of God on Earth, and therefore, we should seek to understand and support them all.
So what can we learn? Next time you feel offended:
1. Breath. Take a deep breath and make sure you swallow your pride with it.
2. Ask yourself "Is this something Jesus would be offended about or is this just me?"
3. Where is this person coming from? Where is their heart in saying this?
4. Don't judge. I'm sure you've offended that person too
5. Talk. Find out what you can learn from someone else's perspective
Let's all just take one big chill pill and learn to enjoy the diversity in our Christian culture. After all, a Kingdom divided is no Kingdom at all.
I had one of those "just me" moments of offense earlier today. Didn't handle it well. Not proud. Thanks for the post sister.
ReplyDeleteYou might force me to write the opposite post. Really. I'm kinda amused to be quoted here (not that the quote has anything whatsoever to do with being offended).
ReplyDeleteI'm actually one of those oddities who almost NEVER gets offended, even (or especially!) when someone's *trying* to.
But the total flip side of your post is that I can be perceived as offending another when this is precisely not the case! One of my most despairing moments is when I get misinterpreted by someone who believes that I've wounded them, when absolutely no wound whatsoever was meant.
This happens to me more frequently than I would like to admit.
What's the cause? Mostly my sarcasm.
The world would be a much simpler place if everyone would just become a dry-witted, politically moderate ENFP just like me. And why not? I'm right, after all.
OMG, Jeff, you are too much and how does that quote not have to do with being offended? Thats's what we were talking about when you said it you silly person :)
ReplyDeleteActually what you're saying is partly what I'm saying. We need to think, before we feel so offended, because many times it is just sarcasm or some other non-intentional thing. There are times when I think we are right to feel offended but 9 times out of 10, it is something that is being misinterpreted, misconstrued, or just blown out of proportion.
Personally I think the world would be entirely chaotic if everyone became like me, a die hard ENFJ. Sure, Jeff, you're always right (she said with fingers crossed behind her back)
:-P
wasn't offended... just wondering how non-Christians would view it? You pointed out it was "generationally appropriate" so I'd guess most non-Christians wouldn't notice or blink an eye... so I'll say its language I choose not to use... does it make a difference in the grand scheme of things? maybe not.
ReplyDeleteOne thing that would be interesting... what would Jesus say? This is very interesting to think about... There is some strong language in the Bible and if Jesus was walking this earth now (instead of ~2000 years ago) he very well may be using the same colorful language.
thanks for challenging us to think (and allowing one to ramble)
@Anonymous- great point. It is important to think about what Jesus would say. I think Jesus spoke in ways that were culturally appropriate and relevant to the people He wanted to interact with. We should also be aware of this. What's okay for me to say to the 25 girl at the mall may not be the best thing for me to say to the 70 year old I'm visiting at the nursing home, etc.
ReplyDeleteThanks for rambling :-P