Most of my friends don't know that about me. When I say it they assume it's a joke, because I don't really match up to what people think ADD looks like. Most people think of hyper, sugared-up children who can't sit still, but the truth is that most people with ADD/ADHD don't look like that at all. As a matter of fact I would argue that it's not really a disorder at all. Most of the truly troubled children who exhibit ADD/ADHD are actually suffering from other behavioral disorders and/or learning challenges.
Over my next few posts (provided I can hone my attention in long enough) I'm going to share my story and knowledge, so hopefully people who are like me can understand their unique value and people who are different can understand what is actually happening in the minds of those who get lumped into this "disorder"
First, a little back story: Not to toot my own horn but I was a very smart child. I always tested high and I could learn things much more quickly and easily than my classmates. So much so that I would get bored in class and drift off into daydream land. I frequently got accused of not paying attention and I often got distracted so I rarely completed my very dull homework. Around 3rd grade my grades plummeted and my teacher labeled me as a "problem". My mom knew that something wasn't adding up. I didn't have a behavior problem. I was just spacing out and I couldn't stay on task. In spite of that I had amazing test scores and a high I.Q. Long story short, after watching an episode of Oprah about ADD my mom had me tested over the course of the next year (it takes a minimum of 6 months for a proper diagnosis BTW) and sure enough I had ADD. Back then ADD and ADHD were separate- now they are lumped together.
My dear parents did everything they could. I was on Ritalin, in therapy, and I had a private tutor. My grades immediately rebounded and I never turned in homework late. Everyone was thrilled, except for me. I am very grateful to have had parents that cared about me enough to do all of that, but honestly as I look back, I don't know that it was needed.
I stopped taking my meds in 7th grade and once again I had trouble in school. I was still smart but most of the time I felt stupid. You see all of the meds and therapy didn't change me, it just made me tolerable for the public school system. When I returned to my natural state, I no longer fit the mold of what was acceptable. This made me feel unacceptable and led to more problems in school eventually causing me to leave it.
Let me explain a little bit about ADD/ADHD. Most people think its leading symptom is an inability to stay focused, but that's only a half truth. People with ADD can be extremely focused, but it takes more to peak our interest. We lack the ability to focus on things our minds find dull- such as a lecture. However, when the focus switch is turned on in our brains we become hyper-focused and it is nearly impossible to get our attention. Like when I would daydream in class and my teacher would have to call my name 10 times before I would hear her- I was hyper-focused on what entertained my brain, and her lecture just wasn't it. The way most medications work is that they stimulate the brain so we can focus on duller things.
Another thing people associate with us is hyperactivity, but this is not usually the case- especially with girls. Often times with girls they simple talk a lot or they daydream more than the boys. Boys do tend to cause a bit more trouble but not always. Boy with defiant behavior disorders are often misdiagnosed as having ADD.
So getting back on "task", what does all this mean? I hope to explore that in the days to come. I believe that having this so-called "disorder" is what makes me great. Without it I wouldn't be who I am and I am exactly how God intended me to be- It's not a flaw, it's a feature..............
More to come in part 2
Please feel free to share your story :)
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