Love can be the Hardest Thing

Sometimes being yourself in church can be the hardest thing. I almost feel bad for saying that, but it can be very true. Most of us have been hurt badly by people. We've been misunderstood, lied to, and just treated unfairly and not just in the world but in the church too. I know that sounds sad but it's not all bad. After all the Church is made up of people. We've likely hurt others as much as we've been hurt. I once heard Rick Warren say, "Hurt people, hurt people" How true is that? There was a day when people went to the church for sanctuary. It was a place to be at peace and find comfort regardless of your condition. Nowadays, I think many people aren't afraid of God they are afraid of us.

Now, there are many awesome churches and I believe that in general, Christians have a heart to do good things, so why is it that we have such a hard time walking in love with one another? Once again, I don't pretend to know, but here's a couple of things I've observed:

1. We are insecure- I have a strong personality and that makes a lot of people feel intimidated but what those people don't get is that I am just as insecure as they are. I have the same need to feel loved, accepted, and encouraged. I just express myself differently. We are all laced with insecurities and they often get in the way of our relationships with one another.

2. We are skeptics- Our society teaches us not to trust, especially when people are too nice or too eager. We are taught that there is so selflessness. I've learned that if you continuously question someone's motives, eventually they will let you down. So really instead of believing in our brother and sisters to succeed, we are just waiting for them to fail.

3. We are afraid- If you've been hurt, and let's face it, we've all been hurt. The worst thing you can imagine is being hurt again. These emotional scars are painful reminders of what we fear most and our natural human reaction is to flee anything that looks like it might reopen our wounds. I know this from experience. This kind of fear kept me from being in a small group for years and it is very unhealthy.

The solution? Heck, I don't know! I'm not a great philosopher or theologian. I'm just some chick who's been there and maybe you can relate? The only answer I can offer is in the Bible (cause let's face it those answers are usually the best ones):
"I want you to think about how all this makes you more significant, not less. A body isn't just a single part blown up into something huge. It's all the different-but-similar parts arranged and functioning together. If Foot said, "I'm not elegant like Hand, embellished with rings; I guess I don't belong to this body," would that make it so? If Ear said, "I'm not beautiful like Eye, limpid and expressive; I don't deserve a place on the head," would you want to remove it from the body? If the body was all eye, how could it hear? If all ear, how could it smell? As it is, we see that God has carefully placed each part of the body right where he wanted it. ^19-24But I also want you to think about how this keeps your significance from getting blown up into self-importance. For no matter how significant you are, it is only because of what you are a part of." 1 Corinthians 12:14-19 MSG

We are all important. Just realizing that we ALL matter helps. Sometimes we get consumed with feelings of self importance and this can set us up for even bigger hurts and sometimes we are consumed with feeling insignificant and the result is the same. Remembering that we are all not just A part but an IMPORTANT part of God's big picture can give us great security and strength when we feel hurt, neglected, or alone and it can give us perspective when we need it.

^"4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ⁸Love never fails. " 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV

We've all heard this a million times but it will always be relevant. This is how God defines love and this ought to be the standard for how we treat one another. At the end of the day we are all in this together. Loving each other with Christ-like love can be hard, but sometimes allowing ourselves to receive it can be even harder. I believe that the more we love each other, the greater our witness is. Let's all challenge ourselves to take the next step in love and let's do it together. It's when all of us journey together in love that we can do the greatest things for God's Kingdom.

What do you think? Am I being too harsh? Have you ever felt this way? How do you handle it?