I ran into a wall today. I knew the wall was there, heck I've smacked into it before. Yet, somehow I can't stop myself from running at it as fast as I can no matter how many times it knocks me on my butt.
When do you reach a point where you just need to turn around? You see lately I've really been struggling. I feel like I know the things that God wants for me but nothing ever seems to come as easily for me as others. I long so deeply to grow in the gifts that God has given me but I just don't have the people around me to guide me. So in my loneliness I pray. "God am I wrong? Is there something else I need to be doing? Do I want this or do YOU want this?" I mean what else can I do? I live in world of busyness and everyone around is too busy to bother with me. When did activity begin to override humanity anyway? Of course, I'm as guilty as the next guy. I used to be consumed with activity. so much so that my marriage, career, and whole life fell apart without me even noticing. The "Church" is consumed by this battle and nobody seems to recognize it. I've seen it in all types of churches, big or little, progressive or conservative. As i sit here feeling like a casualty of this battle I can't help but feel the need to repent for all the wounded left in the path of my own 'activity'. Is the western church just a bunch or "Martha's'? What is this plague of 'activity'? Where is the balance? What are your thoughts? So I just have to keep talking to God. In all of his wonderment He's never too busy to sit down and have a chat with little 'ole me. Oh, how he heals my heart, how he calms my soul.
