Marketing Fail of the Day

(Wow, how friendly........)

Marketing Fail of the Day

(so, it's not THAT bad..... at least they're honest!)

Marketing Fail of the Day

(Oh, hell yes... three words: sign me up!)

Marketing Fail of the Day

(hmmmm..... I wonder where this church is located? Now here I thought that in Wisconsin Brett Farve was God)

Marketing Fail of the Day- Turkey Edition

(OMG some clip art just exploded on this flier. Is this for a church or a 5th grade Thanksgiving Day Pageant? I really can't tell )

(Great verse but FOR THE LOVE OF GOD stop using this picture. It's soooooo over!)

(How come my thanksgiving food never glows as it pours out of a cornucopia? I think I hear some Gather band in the background.....)

Screw Thanksgiving.... here comes Christmas!

Marketing Fail of the Day

(I love Jesus, where's my freakin' easy button? Seriously, when do I get one?)

Marketing Fail of the Day- Slogan Edition

The following is a list of Christian slogans/saying that need to die. If you I hear any Christians under the age of 65 say, think, or interject these into advertising, I swear I will slap them- You've been warned!

My commentary is in red :)

Can't sleep? Try counting your blessings. - or tylenol pm
Christians, keep the faith - but not from others! - okay that's just dumb sounding, really!
Don't wait for the hearse to take you to Church. - fear... that'll get 'em!
God answers knee-mail.- I bet a grandpa who doesn't own a computer made this up

It's hard to stumble when you're down on your knees.- that is actually true and helpful if your someone who frequently walks around on your knees
Prevent truth decay. Read your Bible.- I think I've seen this on every fundemental baptist church sign I've ever read.
Tithe if you love Jesus! Anyone can honk!- And just when we began to convince people that we are interested in them and not their money- thanks for setting the Church back several hundred years!

"What part of 'THOU SHALT NOT' don't you understand?" // "Have you read my #1 best seller? There's going to be a test." // "We need to talk" // "Let's meet at my house Sunday, before the game" // "C'mon over and bring the kids" // "Keep using my name in vain, I'll make rush hour longer" // "Loved the wedding, invite me to the marriage" // "You think it's hot here?" // "Don't make me come down there" - God
I just put all the God Speaks stuff together- seriously, just stop with this. It's over (waaaay over).

Don't put a question mark where God put a period.- yes question nothing, just do what we say and be mindless freaks

Be ye fishers of men. You catch 'em - He'll clean 'em.- You might be a redneck if......

Forbidden fruits create many jams.- I think my Grandma once told me this except I think she said they make the sweetest jams.

Want to make God laugh? Tell him your plans.- Yes, God is laughing at you, not with you

If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again.- So if I'm 'born again' I can be blonder, skinnier, and maybe even a dude? No thanks, I'll just accept the way God made me the first time around.

Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world.- So they have a good 401(k) or what?

Turn Life's Cares into Prayers.- said the needlepoint on the nursing home wall

Marketing Fail of the Day

(Because having one first lady isn't enough....)

Marketing Fail of the Day

(apparently all atheists are murders, so be careful)

Marketing Fail of the Day

(I go to church on Sunday, so I must be in cahoots with the antichrist)

Fall on Me

Finally got my new guitar! I've been guitarless for 3 months and it sucked, but good things really do come to those who wait!

So I could not put my new baby down today, and God blessed me with the beginnings of a new song (YAY!). I would have posted a recording but my voice is MIA at the moment. It's not totally gone, but I sound like a combo between Louis Armstrong and Bono. So I just posted the lyrics and Chords. I'd love any feedback or suggestions anyone would like to give :)

Verse 1:

E Bm7 A2 E A2 F#m7

Fall on me. let me feel you here, set me free from fear.

E Bm7 A2 E A2 F#m7

Fall on me. wanna seek your face in the Holy Place

Chorus:

E A2 E

Yeah, Jesus you’re all I need

F#m7 C#m7 A2 G3m7 A2

My soul comes alive as I sing your praises

Verse 2:

E Bm7 A2 E A2 F#m7

Fall on me. you’re my hope, my all. to the cross I crawl

E Bm7 A2 E A2 F#m7

Fall on Me. Father hold me close in your arms I’m home

Marketing Fail of the Day

(Yo, yo, yo my peeps. Jezus is the nizzle fo' shizzle G)

New Essentials Courses: Songwriting (Baloche) and Worship Leading (Park)

This is a post from Dan Wilt's Blog. I've already taken the 3 core Essentials Modules and they were AWESOME! I'm looking forward to taking these on! Let me know if you want to join me!

From DanWilt.com:
it’s a privilege to do what I do, and I get to do it with some beautiful souls who have the fame of God on their mind. We’ve just handcrafted two new works of art for the service of creatives in the missional Church. Weha. Hope these can serve you and lift your calling in God.

Write A Song. Learn Songwriting.

ESSENTIALS IN SONGWRITING
LIVE GUESTS: PAUL BALOCHE (God of Wonders), ANDY PARK (In The Secret)
PRIMARY RESOURCE: God Songs (Baloche),
SECONDARY RESOURCES: Songwriting For Worship DVD (Vineyard Music), Worship Songwriting DVD (Doerksen)

Write a song in the month of January, while you learn the craft of songwriting with some of today’s best. Learn More.

Learn The Skill Of Worship Leading.

ESSENTIALS IN WORSHIP LEADING
LIVE GUEST: ANDY PARK (In The Secret)
PRIMARY RESOURCE: To Know You More (Park),
SECONDARY RESOURCES: Leading Worship DVD (Vineyard Music)

Learn the foundational skillset of great worship leaders, while you learn from today’s most effective worship leaders.

Plus A Free One Year Learning Community Membership.

Every course now comes with a full ONE YEAR COMPLIMENTARY MEMBERSHIP TO OUR LEARNING COMMUNITY if you sign up by DEC. 1.

I.e. A year of other amazing free training resources, live and in media. Learn More.

Yeah, baby. We’re pumped. Hope you and a group can join us, blog friend crazies.

Dan out.
www.WorshipTraining.com

Marketing Fail of the Day

I have no words to describe the cheesiness and overall lack of artistic value in this billboard, but I bet my grandma would LOVE it.

Marketing Fail of the Day

This is also my philosophy....... when BBQing chicken anyway

Marketing Fail of the day!- Day one!

I am blessed to have the opportunity to do church marketing and design on a regular basis. It's fun and I love it. It's awesome to try an think of new, relevant ways to get the message out there.

I regularly search the internet looking for new ideas and inspirations. There are so many talented artists in the church that are constantly coming up with beautiful ways to share faith through media.... then, there are the other guys. I know you know what I'm talking about. Who hasn't gotten a track or seen a billboard that makes you shudder at the fact that you get lumped in with 'those people' because of your faith.

So, in the spirit of improving the quality and relevancy of Church marketing, I will be posting these everyday (with commentary). Feel free to send anything my way that you deem offensive, stupid, funny, or just plain sad. It can be anything from billboards to t-shirts! TOGETHER WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE :-P

We will start out with a few here today:


(I can practically feel the love spilling off this, can't you?)


(Just in case you forgot: Jesus is watching you buy that porn)


(Um.... somebody didn't think this through. I don't know who that guy is but I think he's giving it an 'amen')

And first up a personal favorite:

(yeah, because that's so going to happen. Just do what we tell you and don't think about it, dang it!)

Psalm 25

^"12 My question: What are God-worshipers like?

Your answer: Arrows aimed at God's bull's-eye."
Psalm 25:12 (the Message)

I was reading Psalm 25 this morning. I was actually reading it in the New King James Version (my fav translation) and I felt God really speaking to me through it. Then I felt like He wanted me to go read it in the Message Bible (my fav paraphrase). So I did, and verse 12 practically jumped off the page at me. I just love how it describes what Christians should be like. , "Arrows aimed at God's bull's-eye" It challenged me to look at the trajectory of my day/week/year and ask myself, "What is my aim?". Are the tasks/goals that I have laid out for myself aimed at God and His Will? The truthful answer is 'no'. This verse is really challenging me to change that.

So, think about the day and what you plan to do. Ask yourself, why am I doing these things? Are my tasks aimed at God or am I just self-seeking or am I just "going through the motions"? Think about how you can take your everyday and aim it at glorifying God and furthering His Kingdom.

^"15 If I keep my eyes on God,
I won't trip over my own feet"
Psalm 25:15

How Much Do I Have To Give?

Do you ever reach a point with God where you feel like you’ve got nothing else left? I’ve been there. It feels like the darkest of nights; the driest of deserts. God has since moved me on from there. As I was praying the other day I kept feeling God moving me to reflect on those times in my life. As I thought about it, I felt those familiar feelings of frustation and anger surge through me. I began to think about all the things I’ve laid down in my life. I started to count my sacrifices and as I did, it seemed like a lot. It kinda pissed me off, really. “How much more could I possibly give up for God?” Then God answered me. He said, “All of it, that’s how much you can give. Everything you have or could have. I want all of it.” Immediately, I felt like such an idiot. God doesn’t just want our time or our money. He wants us every piece of us; every dream; every hope; every thought and most of all our love. The idea isn’t to make God buy in to our dreams for ourselves but to sacrifice our dreams and let God give us His aspirations for us. Ten years ago I imagined a much different future for myself then the reality that I currently live in. The funny thing is that even though my dream life sounds like it would be so much better than my actually life, I know it’s not.

I like the way Romans says it in the Message Bible:
“1-2 So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.” Romans 12:1&2


God doesn’t want our loyalty, he wants our love. You can spend your life doing things in God’s name, but all He really wants is for you to love Him and let Him love you back. Everything else that you do is supposed to be a product, or as the Bible calls it ‘fruit’ of that love. God sacrificed everything for us. He humbled himself by even coming here and walking among us. It’s like the worlds richest king intentionally giving up all his wealth to go and serve the peasants in his kingdom. He endure more pain than most of us will ever know and he died. I think we gloss over what He really sacrificed for us, because we here it so much. It gets to the point where it’s like “yeah, yeah I know Jesus died for my sins, yadda, yadda.” But think about it, and don’t lose sight of it. This boundless love that drove Jesus to die on a cross, is the same crazy love that God has for you and for me. It’s a love that we couldn’t even reciprocate if we tried, because it is supernatural. God knows that His perfect love is far beyond our human capicity of love, so He says He’ll just take what ever we have and call it even. It’s actually a really good deal if you think about it.

Okay, the moral of this story?
1. Stop complaining about what you have, don’t have, or did have.
2. Focus on loving God and letting Him love you back
3. Give it all up.

God wants it all, so give it to Him. Show him how much you trust him, and know that He’s got your back. God has the perfect plan for you.

Matthew 16:24 (The Message)
24-26Then Jesus went to work on his disciples. "Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat; I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself? What could you ever trade your soul for?

Epic Fail Week 4 opening video- ONE DAY

Here's our opening video from St Pete Vineyard this week. ENJOY!!!

A Thought on Spiritual Formation

I was walking at the beach this morning while listening to some music. The song 'How He Loves' (Kim Walker version) started playing, and as I watched the tide coming in and out; I began to think about God and spiritual formation. Our relationships with God are so much like the relationship the ocean has with the sand.

Here we are- the sand. We don't move on our own or have the ability to shape ourselves. We are filled with natural treasures, and we also contain a lot of crap that various people have dropped on us.

Then there's God- the ocean. It's powerful. It can be peaceful and calm or it can be violent and wipe out entire cities. It's both beautiful and dangerous.

The ocean hits the sand and it changes. The shore is shaped by the tide every second of the day. Some days the waves are huge and the shoreline changes quickly, and other days, the waves are more like ripples making subtle changes. One thing to notice, is that everyday it is moving. Everyday it is changing and the most amazing transformation happens just below the surface. If you ever stick your feet in the sand where the water is several inches deep, you know what I mean.

Our lives with God should reflect this constant ebb and flow. We are built to be like that sand; ever-changing, ever evolving as we are moved by God. Everyday God's Grace should sweep over us and shape us. Everyday we need to seek Him in His Word and in Prayer, so our hearts can be shaped by His love and our minds can be fed by His wisdom.

^"So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you." Romans 12:1 & 2 (MSG)

"And when God is personally present, a living Spirit, that old, constricting legislation is recognized as obsolete. We're free of it! All of us! Nothing between us and God, our faces shining with the brightness of his face. And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him." 2 Corinthians 3:17 & 18 (MSG)

Epic Fail Week 3 Video- CHURCH FAIL

This week was 'Church Fail'. Great message! You can find the message on our website www.stpetevineyard.org


Epic Fail Week 3 from Emily Gilly on Vimeo.