For reasons I cannot explain, every year, January kinda sucks for me. I get all fired up for the start of a new year, get my list of things I want to change, and BOOM! By January 10th, I'm wishing I had a time travel device so I could go back to a more hopeful, simpler time before all the New Year's crappola began.
2012 has been no exception to my New Year's Curse. The year started off with my mom breaking her hip at my house while I was away in Atlanta. Then all kinds of ministry changes and movement without a lot of explanation, and then my car breaks down- all of this before January 8th! So I'm sitting around my house this week feeling pretty blue and fearful of what else is gonna happen, and the Holy Spirit brings me a vision of soil in a field that has been freshly tilled. Now, I don't know a lot about farming........ actually, I don't really know anything about farming! However, I do remember how farms looked in Indiana (where I once lived) right before they were getting ready to plant things. They were muddy, overgrown with weeds, and just plain inhabitable. Every year, they would have to be tilled before farmers cold grow anything. Being that I'm not a farmer, I found it interesting that God would bring me such an image but the more I think about the more it makes sense.
Maybe January is the time of year when God has to prep me so he can plant things and they can take root. Why? Heck, I don't know!
He digs deep to remove all the hurts and baggage of the year before so he can cultivate something new. It feels painful and makes me feel dry and barren but it's really good for me in the end.
So, today I feel hopeful and welcoming of this time refurbishment. I look barren on the outside but it's just because I'm waiting for God to plant something new in me!
So I encourage you not to run away from God in those times when you feel turned inside-out, but run to Him and be encouraged that he won't abandon you. Trust him that he always has a plan to bring blessings and good things to your life!
"If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there;
if you're kicked in the gut, he'll help you catch your breath."
Psalm 34:18 MSG
