Activity Vs. Humanity

I ran into a wall today. I knew the wall was there, heck I've smacked into it before. Yet, somehow I can't stop myself from running at it as fast as I can no matter how many times it knocks me on my butt.

When do you reach a point where you just need to turn around? You see lately I've really been struggling. I feel like I know the things that God wants for me but nothing ever seems to come as easily for me as others. I long so deeply to grow in the gifts that God has given me but I just don't have the people around me to guide me. So in my loneliness I pray. "God am I wrong? Is there something else I need to be doing? Do I want this or do YOU want this?" I mean what else can I do? I live in world of busyness and everyone around is too busy to bother with me. When did activity begin to override humanity anyway? Of course, I'm as guilty as the next guy. I used to be consumed with activity. so much so that my marriage, career, and whole life fell apart without me even noticing. The "Church" is consumed by this battle and nobody seems to recognize it. I've seen it in all types of churches, big or little, progressive or conservative. As i sit here feeling like a casualty of this battle I can't help but feel the need to repent for all the wounded left in the path of my own 'activity'. Is the western church just a bunch or "Martha's'? What is this plague of 'activity'? Where is the balance? What are your thoughts? So I just have to keep talking to God. In all of his wonderment He's never too busy to sit down and have a chat with little 'ole me. Oh, how he heals my heart, how he calms my soul.

Onward and Upward.....

Do ever feel like no matter how hard you push or how fast you run you will simply never get there? i struggle with this feeling of insufficiency often. Then i was reading God's Word today and I stumbled across Philippians 3. I particularly zoned in on verses 12-16 Here Paul writes this:

"2 Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. 13 Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, 14 I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
15 Therefore let us, as many as are mature, have this mind; and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal even this to you. 16 Nevertheless, to the degree that we have already attained, let us walk by the same rule,[a] let us be of the same mind."


I also like The Message paraphrase version too:

"2-14I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back.
15-16So let's keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision—you'll see it yet! Now that we're on the right track, let's stay on it."


When we look at ourselves it is so easy to zone in on everything that we lack, but here Paul tells us to not worry about. Keep our eyes on the goal. I love how Paul admits to his own imperfections here. I often find myself looking with envy at the people around. I think man, why can't i be where they are in their faith? Today i am sitting here asking God to help me change my perspective and realize that I am right where I need to be. I know that if I continue to look backwards eventually I will trip but when I look forward the road looks painfully long. I know everybody has been there so you know how hard it is not to be discouraged. God has placed such a path before christians that we either have to be "totally committed" or not at all. It's hard to just be 100% committed to God's will. Very hard but that's how it has to be if we really want to impact the world for Christ. The more I seek God, the more I put Him first, the more I can see His vision and will for my life and that brings me hope. Then the road doesn't seem so long or so hard. I think the message here is to keep on keepin on and just commit yourself to the vision that God gives you no matter how difficult or far off.

What is Worth?

In our society today we are surrounded by images and people that tell us what "worth" is; what makes us "worth" something to this world. I've been reading through Ephesians, which is my favorite New Testament book, and it has really made me consider my view of what "worth" really means. In the first few chapters Paul talks about what Christ did for us and then he begins to talk about the church and how we approach ministry. If you have never read it before you should Ephesians is an excellent read. The part that made me think today was 5:2-6 "2 And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.
3 But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints; 4 neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. 5 For this you know,[a] that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. 6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience." Covetousness, coarse jesting, empty words; isn't that so what our society is. This is what made me ponder my measure of worth and then repent for my own heart. It is so easy to let ourselves believe that we need to be smart, rich, beautiful, or talented to be worth something. For many of us we have even doubted our worth to God and His Kingdom because of lacking these things. But God doesn't want us to measure ourselves in this way. I believe that Satan wants to deceive everyone, even the church, with these empty words and promises. You know "If you can get this promotion, you'll be happy", "If you just wear this, you'll be happy" "If you build a bigger, high tech sanctuary, you'll be happy" and so on. I know for me as a woman, Satan tries to tell me that I am not vital to God's work because I'm a woman. There are a million lies he tells and so many of us believe them. So what is worth something? ?According to the Bible our worth is found in our calling in the Kingdom of God and serving God wholeheartedly. All of us have a calling in God's Kingdom. Paul writes in 1:18 "18 the eyes of your understanding[a] being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints," "HOPE" I love that word :) It's in that calling that we find hope for the future. No longer should we allow ourselves to be deceived by what society says we "need" to be or have but allow ourselves to let God dictate our futures and let God dictate the Church's future. It is to easy to allow ourselves to be held back by what we think life should look like or worrying about what others think our life should look like. I know from experience this only leads to misery and pain. We must submit ourselves to God as a "sacrifice to God" and let Him direct our steps. It is only when we live in that place that we can truly know our worth to God and to the world.

"1 I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, 2 with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, 3 endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism;"
Ephesians 4:1-5

Break My Heart

When shadows surround Me
And My sorrows seem never ending
You break through
the darkness and free my soul
I cry out to you

Break my Heart
Make it new, Make it new again
Here's my Life
God it's all, God it's all
for you
Break my heart

Let Your Peace, Oh God rule within me
As a thankful song my soul will sing (2x)

Find Rest Oh, My Soul

Find rest, oh my soul
In God alone
My hope
My rock
My salvation

When my soul is weary and my heart has broken
Where can I run to hide?
I need you Lord, my strength, my refuge
Your love so deep and wide

Find rest, oh my soul
In God alone
My hope
My rock
My salvation

Worship

As I crawl up to the cross
I remember the cost
Your love and grace so deep
Then I can hardly speak
I look upon your face
As you bear my disgrace
And all at once I feel my burdens
Lifting away

I worship you my God
I worship you my King
Your sacrifice has set me free
So I can worship you

I lay my fears to rest
no more fears, no regrets
And all my hopes and dreams
I lay down at you feet
I feel your spirit close
As I gaze upon the beauty
Of my Holy Lord who's never-ending
Grace covers me

I worship you my God
I worship you my King
Your sacrifice has set me free
So I can worship you

I will worship
I will worship
I will worship
Jesus Christ, my king

Love Song Lyrics

You are the Lord of my life
The only on I see
You've given me more than I could earn
So I give you my everything

You Are Love, You are Grace
You are Mercy Divine
God almighty, Emmanuel
Jesus, The Lord

Lord I could never know
All the wonders of you
So I'll just kneel here at your feet
And offer my love song to you

You Are Love, You are Grace
You are Mercy Divine
God almighty, Emmanuel
Jesus, The Lord

No Words

No words can say what i want to say to you
There's no phrase to describe how I feel
When you bend down from your throne to kiss me
As the tears roll down my face

I feel joy I can't express
I feel passion beyond this world
There's no words to describe
My love affair with you

Oh, I can't resist
The love in your embrace
The lover of my soul
I can't deny this love
Who gave up so much
Just to be with me

Slavery

I was continuing in my studying of Romans today and I got to Romans 6:15-23. I have always found these passages challenging to digest. I mean who want to be a "slave", right? I started thinking about slavery and how awful it is. I remembered images from history class and such. Then God told me to go look it up. I discovered that the images in my head and the definition are very different. A "slave" is a person who is the property of and wholly subject to another" or another definition says "a person entirely under the domination of some influence or person". If you do some reading you can find several instances from American slavery and world slavery where the slaves said they actually enjoyed being slaves! Enjoy it, what? I started rolling all this about in my head and it occurred to me that the differences between the slaves who enjoyed their position and the slaves that didn't was their masters. If you really think about it we are all enslaved to something. Even the people we know that are seemingly happy are slaves to something. For some it is Christ, for others it's greed or alcohol or just themselves. In the world today we have an "egocentric gospel". We think we can know God and understand salvation without serving Him. But God wants to hold us to a higher standard, He wants more for our lives. WE fear the concept of slavery because we all have those images of abuse, we have a notion of what slavery is but when it come to God it is a much different concept. When God calls us to be His slaves it isn't because He needs our help it is because He know what we need to become and He knows what we need to get there. It's only when we become "wholly subject" to Him that he can get us there. What would happen in your life if you thought about God in everything you do? For me my first thought on many things is "how is this going to affect me?", "Is this something I want to bother with?" What if instead I said "How can I glorify God here?" "Is this what God wants" How much would that please the heart of God. The truth is that we are all human and when we serve our own lives and wants it is all bound to come crashing down around us, because we are imperfect in every way. But when we chose to serve God in all His might and wisdom our live are build on rock and will stand forever. When we surrender not just our hearts but our wills to God he can come in and show us what our lives are for. So often in our society people are searching for purpose. Only when we enslave ourselves to the will of God can we find out true purpose. What an awesome God we serve!

"15 What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? Certainly not! 16 Do you not know that to whom you present yourselves slaves to obey, you are that one’s slaves whom you obey, whether of sin leading to death, or of obedience leading to righteousness? 17 But God be thanked that though you were slaves of sin, yet you obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine to which you were delivered. 18 And having been set free from sin, you became slaves of righteousness. 19 I speak in human terms because of the weakness of your flesh. For just as you presented your members as slaves of uncleanness, and of lawlessness leading to more lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves of righteousness for holiness.
20 For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. 21 What fruit did you have then in the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death. 22 But now having been set free from sin, and having become slaves of God, you have your fruit to holiness, and the end, everlasting life. 23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Romans 6:15-23 NKJV

Newness of the Spirit

Romans 7 was my spiritual food today. Is it me or is that chapter a particularly hard read. I had to read it in like three different translations before I could start getting it. I think this chapter is confusing for many because it is so loaded. If you really drink it in it could very well undermine your entire way of thinking about your spiritual life and church in general. I mean...yikes...who wants that? As I started to read it, I actually thought to myself, "Maybe I should go read Psalms instead, there's an easier book" Then I realized wow there must be something good in here if Satan is trying so hard to keep me from reading it. In this chapter Paul is talking about the Law, not the constitution, but the Law/Rules/ Traditions of the religious "right" of that time. I don't know much about Biblical history but I do know that these Laws and Tradition were essential to the way of life back then. People based their lives and careers around religious laws and traditions. In chapter 7, Paul basically says that the Law has no bearing on salvation and furthermore can become an open window for Satan. I began to think about this passage and how it pertains to the current western church. My father, for example, is a very traditional man in his belief system. he believes strongly in the doctrine of the Catholic Church because he was raised in it. He believes that is he follows all the rules and is "basically good" that he will go to heaven. This "living a good life" theory of salvation is shared by many people from all faiths. But my friends it is terribly flawed. Number one, that is nowhere in the Bible. Number two, that thoery is based on the concept that human nature is inherintly good. In Romans 7:24 Calls himself a "wretched man" To truly grasp the concept of salvation and being in a spiritual and real relationship with God we have to recognize and accept our own sinful nature. We have to admit to ourselves that without Christ there is no "Good" in us. I started asking people around me why they believe the things that they believe about God and I was able to break 90% percent of those people into two categories: One group who attends church said, "Because it just is, it what my parents told me. I don't want to go to hell, so I try to be good" and another group who tries to seek God outside the church. They ussually said "I don't believe that there is just one way to God and I don't like all the rules in church or I just can't relate to church". Wow..... how the "church" can undermine itself. This is what I got from the passage I read today. God's not about rules. God's law that he sets forth in the Bible is solid and meant for good, but those things are not the main idea behind God. He gives us commanments and wisdom through the Word to guide us in leading a good life. It when we start to interject or put our own spin on it that we give Satan that open door to come in and perverse the Laws that God created to help us. For example, I think that everybody can agree that we should pray daily as individuals, that's very Biblical. Here's where the perversion happens:
In our human need for structure we will start to ask ourselves "well, how much should I pray? If I forget to pray today do I have to make it up the next day?" So we start looking for the answers and instead of seeking God about it, we hear a pastor or a book or whatever tell us that we should pray for 30 minutes everyday. So we start making ourselves pray for 30 minutes a day. And it goes well for a while. Then we forget one day and we begin to feel guilty and like we've failed somehow, so we try to make it up. Then we continue to force ourselves out of this desire to do what is "right" until it become another chore in our day. One day we get fed up with the chore and we begin to ask our selves why we are even praying or who we are even praying to.
You see friends, we can set these rules without even knowing and most of the time it is out of a desire to do what is right. Paul says in Romans 7:11 "For sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, deceived me, and through the commandment put me to death." He saying that even when we try to do good Satan will try to decieve us. Satan knows that if he can convince us that all of our manmade rules are God's rules he can divide us. In closing Let me challege you to think about your life and ask God to show you what rules you follow are from Him and what are from you or the people around you. Begin to think about why you do or believe the things that you do. In romans Paul uses the term "newness of the Spirit" This really jumped at me. God's is steady and unchanging but He continuously uses the Holy Spirit to refresh and transform our minds and ideas about God. God is never old or outdated, only we can become irrelevant by refusing to allow God to set the rules.

Rob Bell has been heavily criticized by the more conservative sects of Christianity for his challenging thoughts of what it means to be spiritual. He challenges both believers and non to examine their belief and not take them without careful examination. Here is what he had to say in response to some of these attacks.
"When people say that the authority of Scripture or the centrality of Jesus is in question, actually it's their social, economic and political system that has been built in the name of Jesus that's being threatened, Generally lurking below some of the more venomous, vitriolic criticism is somebody who's created a facade that's not working"
- Rob Bell to the Chicago Sun Times

Romans 5:3-5

"And not only that we also glory in tribulation, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character,hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us."

This verse has been resonating with me for a about a year now. Every time it read it God grabs my heart and says "LISTEN!" this is for you. Life isn't easy for anyone, my life has been no exception to that rule. My life has been one hardship after another. About three years ago I was ground to nothing. I felt that hope was lost and I gave up. My heart was in such pain that I felt certain it would kill me. Then God gave me this verse. My life didn't get any better at that point but my perception of my life changed instantly. The word "tribulation" means grievous trouble; severe trial or suffering. It comes from the word trībulātiō or trībulāt which means to press and squeeze and that is pretty much what it feels like when our lives become unbearable and our hearts become weak. It feels as though the very air we breath is being squeezed from us slowly and painfully. And we're supposed to be happy about it? Glory in it? When God gave me that word my first thought was, "you've got to be kidding me?", "Do you even understand what this feels like?", "I'm suffocating here and you want me to be happy about it?" But the truth is that God does know what it feels like. The pain that he feels when we reject Him, the pain that He endured when He sent his Son to die for us, The agony that Christ felt as he hung up on the cross. God knows pain. He knows more pain than we can bear. As I realized this my heart began to change. What if instead of falling on our faces before God and saying "help me, help me!" We fell on out faces and said "I trust you, I trust you" or "Thank you, Thank you!" When we face hardship that is too big for us God must do big things to save us. God will not let us fall. We just have to sit tight and hold to his promises. In that place of tortured patience we develop a faith and peace that can only come from God. God uses these times as a catalyst to bring us to the next level of out faith in God. It is in that new faith, trust, and knowledge that God can shape out character into His image. It is in this broken place that God reshapes us into the masterpiece he wants us to be. God has to press us and squeeze us just like a sculptor must do to his clay to make his artwork fit together. After all this is over, and it always ends eventually, we have hope. When I look at my life, where I've been and where I am, I have deep abounding Hope and Joy in Christ. We can't understand the mysteries of why God puts us through things but we can know that we will survive and not just survive but actually thrive! Next time your life seems dark, next time you feel stuck or hopeless read this verse and praise God. Every trial, every sorrow is another chance for you to see God at work. It is a time for God to birth something new in your life. We serve an incredible God and he can, does and will continue to do mighty impossible things!